Monday, September 18, 2006

Love and acceptance: The best medicine

I wouldn't discount the value of laughter, but being loved and accepted for who I am is a huge factor in my ability to get on with my life. I'm often afraid of telling new friends about my disorder, because I don't know how they'll react and whether they'll judge me. But almost always when I do, I'm presented with tremendous support and caring.

The Goldbergs, one of the families I go to on Shabbos, went away on vacation when I started this blog. They know I'm in school, but didn't know about my diagnosis and struggle with bipolar. When they returned and had me over for a meal, I told Ruchama Goldberg that I'd started a blog and would be interested to hear her thoughts, and I emailed her the link.

Today she wrote me,

You write really well, and it's devastating to realize what you have been through, as well as the fact that other people are also in this situation.

Thanks for showing me, I will read you regularly! Apart from that, please consider our home a friendly space for whenever you fancy -- to chat or just hang out. Not quiet, but caring!

She also commented on two blog entries and invited me to spend the Yom Kippur pre-fast or break-fast meal with them. I wrote back:

Well, one way of gaining something positive from the suffering is trying to help others who are also struggling. I know that my original essay and my blog have been read by at least a few people who found it helpful.

I already feel that your home is a safe haven for me -- and the love and support I get from all of you makes a huge difference in my quality of life. Concerning Yom Kippur, I am probably going to stay at home in bed; I think that's the only way I can really tolerate fasting, which apparently is more important than going to shul. But I'm looking forward to seeing all of you over Sukkot or Simchat Torah.

When I go to see the Goldbergs, their 3-year-old daughter, Tikva, comes running at me, full-tilt. Spending time with their kids is very healing. Even if I never get married, I am loved, and I am an important person in many children's lives.
Copyright (c) 2006 "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Oh, that's so nice, it's so important to have support when you are struggling (and everytime). I wish I had a family I was close to like that, or even a good friend. The world is a lonely place sometimes...