Friday, October 20, 2006

Former therapist weighs in

I sent my blog to a former therapist, who now lives and works in another city, and asked for some input. He thought it was a helpful resource, especially with the useful links on the left, but I wanted to know more specifically what he thought about my situation at school. Since he's a rather recent graduate of a different program, I thought he might have some perspective. He responded:

I think you always have the option to quit the program.

Which of course is a set up because if I said that to you you would rip my head off and tell me that would never happen which would allow me to slip in the fact that people like Dr. Jerk are part of the challenge of successfully getting a degree. We have all had Dr. Jerks try to stop us from achieving our goals. All this time invested in a battle you know you can't win could probably be better used on more academic demands or possibly even more pleasurable activities.

Also, remember this: the cathartic process (journaling, venting, etc.) has a paradoxical effect on anger. In other words, you may think you are feeling better by venting to the world but really most people when getting angry get a chemical/endorphin boost which seems to reinforce the anger.

Simply stated, anger begets anger. Refer to Martin Luther King, Jr who said "
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

It's not exactly what I wanted to hear -- just like yesterday I didn't want to hear my psychiatrist telling me to tone down my strong personality just a little, so I can get along with everyone. But they're both right, and I think it goes without saying that MLK, Jr. was right. Just look at the situation in Iraq. We're not winning the war on terror by being aggressive crusaders. It's doing more harm than good.

I wrote back that instead of venting about Dr. Jerk I'll stick to mocking him. My former therapist replied succinctly, I agree with Roda.
Copyright (c) 2006 "Ayelet Survivor"

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