Thursday, November 30, 2006

Good news, bad news

The good news is that my rabbi, friends, and the adjuncts are staunchly behind me. Nechama held me in the student lounge as I cried, and Alona spoke with me several times despite being at work, at the doctor's office, and at the pharmacy. Little Marty came over with flowers: yellow roses for friendship, and the light-purple roses called Sterling Silver that I love so much -- I cultivated a bush of them when I was a teenager.

The bad news is that the faculty has discovered this blog -- of course, they won't tell me who ratted me out -- and analyzed it. Without saying too much, they believe I have a problem with anger over "trivial slights" (apparently "several" students have complained to them about my anger -- but of course I can't ask those accusers what angry outbursts they're referring to since they, too, are being held anonymous), shaky boundaries, and grievous ethics violation by testing people I know after the people I didn't know stood me up, and Dr. Jerk refused to let me ask other classmates for people to test. "You should have come to us," said Dr. Dragon. After the way you reacted to my post-colloquium honesty? Which of us has the mental illness???

But because they believe I am in tremendous pain -- ya think?! it's just a little bipolar disorder and a steady campaign of harassment! -- they offered me a compromise: I could withdraw this semester, go on academic probation next semester (and not attend classes), and be re-evaluated after that time. Currently, they think my anger problem and loose boundaries disqualify me from treating patients. Apparently either I'll yell at my patients or try to sleep with them.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. I have to talk to my rabbi, who despite a horrible cold and a child undergoing a medical procedure still mustered a lot of indignation at the way I'm being treated by the faculty. I'm going to seek his counsel, because I know he cares about me and believes in me.

I think, after discussing with friends, that I'm going to tell them I want to take incompletes in Dr. Jerk's classes, and finish the other three classes. I'll have a talk with Dr. A about the kind of grade I deserve in his class, based on my appropriate classroom performance, my homework assignments, and my midterm.

If the schools I apply to ask why I have incompletes in two courses, I'll say that I sustained an injury late in the semester and asked for more time to complete my assignments. Three professors were reasonable, one refused, and that's why I have incompletes in his classes.

Unfortunately, I've had to limit access to this blog to people I select -- i.e., no nosy professors or obsequious students always ready to turn on me. I hope that enough loyal readers who can't read this will try to email me at helpfordepression@gmail.com.
Copyright (c) 2006 "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the invite, Ayelet.

    Hmmm. Sounds both better than you expected and worse than you hoped. Did you take the deal?

    How about having you evaluated by an independent psychologist to determine if you indeed have anger problems? Is there an academic ombudsman or student advocate who argues on students' behalf?

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