Monday, November 20, 2006

Little Marty -- not so big, either

Several of my female friends were much more optimistic about Little Marty than I was. Not all divorced guys are SOBs, they said. Maybe he'll surprise you and be ready for a serious relationship.

Sorry to disappoint all of you -- and I'm the most disappointed of all -- but Little Marty behaved exactly as I expected him to. I tentatively brought up the concept of doing more than just hanging out, and he gently but firmly set me straight. He doesn't know what he's ready for. Even though he missed me terribly over Shabbos, he didn't know if that meant he was ready for a relationship.

Not that he's unfeeling. He's always ready to fall in love with someone, because he believes you can never love too many people or have too many people love you. But marriage? He's in no rush. He also said that while "you're already inside me" emotionally, he's not so sure if we'd be compatible long-term, because he tends to be a very neat and organized person.

Ouch. I've mentioned what a disaster my apartment is; I even told him I didn't want him to see it. Clearly, when he told me "it doesn't matter," he meant, "I don't need to approve of your apartment to make out with you." When it comes to longer-term matters, however, my lack of organization is definitely a drawback in his eyes.

So that's it for Little Marty; I won't be eating any of that Chubby Hubby. I think we'll stay friends, but I am definitely not going to let myself get emotionally drawn into him. If he notices that I'm distancing myself, I'll tell him why: simple self-preservation. And I'm very glad he doesn't know about my illness. I think he'll ultimately be a transient person in my life, and the fewer people who know, the safer my secret.
Copyright (c) 2006 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Ugh. So sorry to hear this. At least he was straight with you--as you know so many guys will BS in these situations. And at least you found out the truth before you got in too deep emotionally. You deserve better! (Plus the cleanliness thing sounds way anal!) Hope you managed to give him the test before you had this conversation.

  2. I'll echo the comment of anon #1. I'm really sorry that it seems like things aren't going to work out, but at least you found out now and not after some long, involved relationship that leaves you gasping for air when it's cut off.