Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Very Young Guy

Last night I went out to dinner with a Very Young Guy, 10 years younger than I am. Met him on a dating website -- he contacted me (I wouldn't have the chutzpah). We spoke on Saturday night (while Little Marty was working) and Tuesday night, and made dinner plans for Wednesday night.

The VYG seemed very mature for his age -- I was understandably hesitant to get involved with him, but he talked me round. He seemed like a nice guy, smart, funny, interesting, good company. But somehow -- maybe it was the lateness of the hour Saturday night -- we ended up talking about sex.

Not just sex -- we were talking tachlis too. But sex entered the conversation a few times. He mentioned Prime Grill, an excellent kosher restaurant in Manhattan, and I asked if he was going to take me there on our first date.

"Not on the first date," he told me. "Some things need to wait until you're more serious about a person."

"Okay, so I'll sleep with you after we go to Prime Grill," I joked.

We didn't go to Prime Grill, of course; we went to Darna. But after he walked me home and kissed me good night, he began to agitate to come upstairs.

Why did I let him? I really didn't feel like doing anything more with him. But I let him importune me, and upstairs he came.

And... things happened.

I don't want to go into detail, and I'm pretty sure no one would want to read about it. But a lot more happened than I was prepared for.

I told him, trying to fend him off, that I wasn't ready, that it was too soon, that getting physically involved too early would ruin things. He assured me it wouldn't.

"I'm not like any other guy you've been involved with," he said. "Do you think I'm going to leave here and never call you again? I'm going to call you tomorrow night, and we'll go out sometime next week."

Famous last words. He hasn't called. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed -- that is, I feel very disappointed, but I probably should be relieved that one encounter was the end of it. He's obviously not a man of his word, and not mature enough to be ready for a serious relationship.

Another problem is that even while I was with him, in his arms, I couldn't stop thinking about Little Marty. Partly because the VYG wasn't built as well -- I almost labeled him "the very small guy," because he's quite, shall we say, inadequate -- and partly because Little Marty is the guy I want to be with, and can't.

I had told Little Marty that I'd let him know when we had to end our physical relationship. I'd considered calling him last night and telling him that for now I'm off the market. But I'm glad I didn't. Because it seems like the VYG is destined to be just another vague name on the long, tattered list of men I've dated. And while Little Marty can't give me what I ultimately need, he's there in the meantime.
Copyright (c) 2006 "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. That's got to be weird. Do you think you might run into him again at some point? It would be weird to leave things hanging (so to speak) like that for me. I would need some kind of closure. Perhaps you'll get it yet.

    If you enjoyed it, even yhough you were thinking of LM, don't sweat it. You are entitled to use him just as he was using you. From your account it seems as though there had to have been some physical chemistry between you two, or you would have been completely repulsed by him. But I understand that it's the principle too.