Sunday, February 04, 2007

It's bad

I can't even really write about how bad I feel right now.

Yesterday was Shabbat. Normally I'd get up, get dressed, put on makeup, and go to shul with my friend Alona. I sat in bed and tried to remember how I ever did that.

It's so hard to get dressed, let alone fuss with makeup. I haven't washed my hair in ages. And forget about reading and retaining any knowledge. It's a miracle I'm still able to go to class and participate -- and of the two days per week I'm in class, I missed one. I couldn't do it.

Trying to write this blog is also really hard, but I have to try, because I'm trying to cover how I function. And right now I barely function.

I guess I have to call my doctor, but I don't know what he can tell me. I don't know if there's anything he can change about my medication. I don't want to be taking more than 3 kinds of pills.

I might have to.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Grab yourself by the dirty hair, and force yourself to take a walk around the block. That's all. One walk around one block. You need sunlight, fresh air, and movement, not more pills.

    Wish I could come over and grab you myself! Do one little thing for yourself, and tomorrow will be better, I promise.

  2. I agree with what anonymous said in theory although it is so frigid outside it may be hard to execute. Have you spoken to your doctor? Please let your loyal blog fans know how you are doing, if you can summon up the energy to do so.
    And yes, this too shall pass. It always does, in time. Hang in there.

  3. A walk around the block certainly wouldn't hurt (though it actually might in this deep freeze). Talk to your doctor and maybe he can adjust/change/add to your meds, even temporarily. You need to pull up out of this downwardly spiraling funk. You are aware of it happening, which is good- now you just need to act.

    Sorry that you are down. It seemed like things were starting to look up, too!

    Get up, wash up, go out. You'll be surprised how much better that will make you feel once you overcome the inertia.

    (Verification word: "Paxvi"! )

  4. I'm not going to presume to know what you need or don't -- but I am sorry to hear that you are not doing well. I hope that you can find what is helpful for you, whether that comes from the strong support network you've spoken of, your doctor, or elsewhere. please keep us updated, and I am thinking about you.