Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Should I be offended?

So today I got this message from a guy on a dating website:

I saw your ad and wanted to say hello. I like the way you describe yourself and wanted to know if you'd mind chatting. Let me know and send a photo.

Is it me, or is the "send a photo" a little rude and abrupt? Especially since the man claims to be 42 and looks about 62? I don't know -- I'm just not inclined to respond.

Of course, nothing compares to this initial note, which I received a few months ago:

Nice profile! Ok, so what is wrong with you? Do you slobber when you talk? ;)

Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. i do not think the "send photo" comment is rude or abrupt. people like to have a visual in shidduch situations, which is why many shadchanim have pictures. and you're beautiful, so why worry?

    and the second guy, well, i think that was just humor. my interpretation is that he liked your profile so much, and found you so charming, that he wanted to know the real deal. hence, the little winky-wink. he doesn't really think you slobber.


  2. In general I don't think it is terrible to ask for a picture, if you ask politely. I think what was off-putting was that his was more of a demand than a request.

    As for him looking older than his age - that shows that he was honest and put up a real, up-to-date picture. I am more disturbed by guys who are 47 and in their picture magically look like they are 30.

  3. I agree with Bella; I don't think it is inherently rude to ask for a picture, but he didn't ask as nicely as he could have.

    The second guy...WTH?!

  4. true, there's nothing wrong with being interested in your looks. of course he is. we all are.
    but he should have exchanged a few emails to see if you had a connection and hoped that you made the offer to send your photo.
    if you didnt put it in the ad, for whatever reason, why should you want to send it to a still relatively anonymous person.

    and the second also displays poor etiquette. you are correct in being put off.

  5. "Nice profile! Ok, so what is wrong with you? Do you slobber when you talk? ;)"
    Call me a masochist, but this comment got a laugh out of me.
    I would have wrote back,"Yes, profusely."