Monday, May 28, 2007

The suburbs suck

I'm too itchy to do my boring social work reading. I've got approximately 75 mosquito bites on my legs. Serves me right for going to visit my sister Jerusha in her suburban home, where the backyard has more mosquitos than Calcutta.

Jerusha was her usual diplomatic self. "Why are you wearing so much eye liner? I don't think it's flattering; it makes your eyes look smaller. Don't yank the leash so hard when you walk the dog! [This after Ayelet, without being asked, took the dog out so she wouldn't pee on the floor.] Why are you wasting your time with a 28-year-old? He can't possibly be serious about you. Stop waxing your legs already! The red spots it leaves are NOT attractive. You should do laser hair removal."

"Unlike some people, I don't have a rich husband," I said caustically.

"I'll pay for it," she said. Which is astonishingly generous -- but she also promised she'd pay for my gym membership and personal training costs, and then bailed out after only $500. I am not about to go through partial laser hair removal.

The difference between me and Jerusha -- or one of them -- is that I don't tell her when she looks terrible. And right now she's not looking so great. I'm heavier than I would like to be, but I'm not in plus-size territory. This weekend she wore some skirts that were really much too small for her, and Oedipus was playing with her stomach as if it were a cat sitting on her abdomen.

But I didn't point out her fashion faux pas. I just said, "That skirt looks really comfortable. Stretchy."

Somehow I still want her approval, although it's not forthcoming. That's the curse of a younger sibling, I suppose. I watch my nieces struggle to get along and wonder if Shira will always feel like Malka's holding back her attention and affection.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Oysh. Good luck dealing with your sister, and the mosquito bites. Benadryl anti-itch cream sometimes helps.

  2. Hahahaha! I mis-read scraps's post and thought it was about anti-bitch cream. Jerusha could use some of that, eh?

  3. LOL! Yeah, that sort of cream would be in order, too. ;)