Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Time on my hands, polish (and band-aids) on my feet

There's a new executive director at our synagogue, and I need to wait a few weeks before he, the rabbi, and I can meet to discuss hiring a Partner in Caring. And I'm still waiting to hear what my new internship will be. So I'm at loose ends today, and decided to get a pedicure.

Good news: I bought a new pair of flip-flops for only $2 at the nail salon. Bad news: the left one is already stained with blood because the pedicurist took a chunk out of my heel with the razor. She was supposed to be removing only the dead skin, but the lady in the chair next to me wanted to look at the shoes in the magazine I was reading, and I twisted a little to show them to her. SLICE!

It really stung, especially when they put on the wound care serum, but I kept my cool. I'm actually more annoyed that she didn't do such an awesome job on my toenails; they're cut all slanty. Last time I go to that salon.

If I were really hypomanic, I would have had a conniption fit when she mutilated me. (Or I would have gotten a manicure/pedicure/bikini wax). If I were really depressed, I wouldn't have been able to get a pedicure -- I'd want to stay at home; being out and about would provoke too much anxiety and distress.

Of course, if I really weren't depressed I'd do more cleaning and straightening up, which I'm still not too inclined to do. I'm getting there. I just hope I recognize myself when all the dust settles.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. hi it's me.

    i know what you mean about wondering which part of you is the real you (from 2 posts ago). as i'm a new reader, i don't have the scope of your entire state, but i am looking forward to reading/learning more about you.

    i think chassidus chabad (tanya in particular) really helps with understanding ourselves, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. that being said, it is not necessarily a panacea for all, some people do need medication (and the rebbe said so).

    if i could just answer a question you posed about the chasuna, the reason the bride is so heavily veiled is truly like the original veiling of leah. her face was completely concealed. this has always been a jewish custom. also, the shechina is said to rest on a kallah's face at this time, and this is something that needs covering and protecting. lastly, a kallah is so emotional, her privacy at this time is important.

    also, i happen to be a woman who wears a wig and no wedding ring, and i'm very happily married (for almost 9 years)! i lost my wedding band when i went to wash negel vasser at the pizza store. so you never know...

    p.s. i'm just wondering why you think there's a contradiction between one's body size and one's ability to be a professional dancer...?

  2. Thanks for commenting, maven!

    I guess my assumption about dancers and body size is that a dancer, by virtue of the nature of her profession, gets so much exercise that she would be in tiptop shape. But my default to this inquiry is really a reflection of how unhappy I am about my current weight. It's hard for me to believe that people see me as a graceful dancer when I perceive myself as a lumbering elephant.