Wednesday, May 16, 2007

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

Obviously I have too much time on my hands these days, or I wouldn't be detailing every single date with the Arabian Knight. We went to see "Lucky You," a cute, romantic movie about professional poker players. Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, Robert Duvall; worth a look. The theater was fairly deserted, since it was a 10:15 p.m. show on a Tuesday, so I got to make a lot of snarky comments as we watched; in a crowded theater, I wouldn't have been that obnoxious. (Ah, semester break. Pretty soon I'll be too busy to be out that late at night.)

Anyway, somehow the Knight managed to get hold of my hand, and I let him hold it. It felt very daring. How weird is that? I'm a very experienced woman, but because I'd decided not to get physically involved with him so quickly, holding hands on the third date felt tremendously erotic.

Not too erotic, though. I didn't let him do anything else, and I didn't hold hands with him as he walked me home. He tried to kiss me good night and I evaded him, saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Tonight I've got the date with the Brooklyn Accountant. The Knight knows I have plans and has joked about my "other guy"; I have politely but firmly told him that I have my own life and friends, thank you. "Don't be Persian," I say.

This is probably a stereotype, but every Persian guy I have dated has been incredibly jealous and possessive -- sometimes to a frightening extent. Right before my overdose, I was dating one. I was having a lot of physical ailments, and even though he was a doctor, he would make strange suggestions.

"I can't go out tonight, I'm too sick to my stomach," I would say.

"Try Celebrex!" he said.

"Isn't that for arthritis?" I asked.

"Yes, it's a new wonder drug."

"I don't have arthritis, I'm throwing up." What kind of a doctor are you?

"Let me come over and hold your hair while you throw up," he said. Excuse me?

"I'm not in the mood for company." Soon I wasn't in the mood to date him at all, and then my mood was profoundly depressed and I swallowed all the medication in the apartment.

I've met some normal Persian men since then, but every Persian I tried to date turned out to be very similar to this guy. So I no longer date them. The Knight, being Iraqi, bristles when compared to Persians, so calling him Persian is a good way to get him to back off.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. wait, i thought iraq was modern-day persia...? i'm totally confused.

    good luck on your date tonight.

  2. Iran is modern-day Persia. Iraq is modern-day Babylon. Persian Jews and Iraqi Jews apparently have very little in common. Thanks for the good wishes, you know I'll keep you posted! ;)

  3. Persians are weird. I've never dated one, but I've worked for one (male), and they are demanding, andal, and stingy, as employers, anyway. I'd never work for one again. Iraqis can be pushy. Which AK seems to be.