Thursday, June 14, 2007

Caffeine: Aphrodisiac or manic agent?

I've been extra sleepy lately. I figured it was because of the increased lithium. So I increased my coffee intake from 1 to 2-3 cups per day. And whereas I feel down and miserable when I'm so sleepy during the day, I feel a lot happier after ingesting more coffee.

A lot happier. So much happier, I started to worry. Was this a good mood or dangerous euphoria?

I worried even more when I was overtaken by lust this afternoon. I thought about dispensing with shmirat negia. Instead of having pizza with the Knight tonight, as we planned (to celebrate my birthday -- I'll let you all know if I like the present he got me), I thought about inviting him upstairs and having... well, him.

It felt like I was becoming hypomanic. But I knew that tomorrow morning I'd just be as exhausted and drained as I have been the past few days -- and I'd need a little extra coffee to get me going.

I did a few cursory Google searches but couldn't find anything authoritative, although most sites advise caffeine abstinence. But I honestly don't know how I'll stay awake without it.

I don't know if the extra lithium is helping or hurting me. But right now I'm cranky and on the verge of weepy. Caffeine is great; once you crash, it sucks.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"

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