Thursday, June 21, 2007

Different timelines

Last night the Knight called. I told him that I couldn't see him any more unless he got his mother's blessing, because I couldn't put any more energy into something that was doomed from the start. He said he didn't think this was a waste of energy because he got to meet a very sweet person.

The very sweet person proceeded to rip him a new one. "That's wonderful for you, but at this stage of my life, I can't keep investing time and emotion into relationships that don't go anywhere! That's not fair to me!"

The Knight sent me an IM after I logged off. He's come to a decision. Apparently we're on different timelines at this point in our lives. He wishes me all the best.

He should have known that a month ago. And breaking up with someone via offline IM? That's worse than a post-it.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Wow. Talk about a one-eighty-- what do you think happened? Did he just "get what he wanted", put a notch on his tefillin bag, and bail? Or did he just freak out? IOW, do you think this was his intent all along?

  2. this was inevitable. :(

  3. I don't think it was his intent all along. I think he just didn't think things through -- he liked me, he liked my voice, he thought I was beautiful, and he went for it. Then he realized he wasn't able to prioritize a serious relationship right now.

  4. Maven, why was it inevitable?

  5. Could it be that your willingness to suddenly sleep with him changed his perception of you or scared him off? OK, he was a willing partner but maybe the experience caught him by surprise and made him rethink. Don't take this the wrong way but maybe he wanted someone more demure. And given that you previously were reluctant to even hold hands that may be the image he had of you.

  6. I don't think so, Anonymous. He was panting after me the whole month we didn't do anything (okay, we held hands and hugged once). I don't think my sudden reversal of policy changed his image of me. I guess he just realized he wasn't ready to get seriously involved with someone.

  7. He was ready to get involved. He just got scared when tachlis became more than a cute idea. In the real shidduch world, a month or two of serious dating is about as far as you can go before committing. He realized that he didn't have an infinite amount of time; this was "serious" already. He used the L word, didn't he? And then he realized that his parents wouldn't go for it. He jumped in without checking the depth of the water.

    It's a shame that youth is wasted on the young, right?

    I'm sorry. It's a shame that this happened, but you are looking on the bright side and dealing admirably. You deserve better, though, and everyone joins me in wishing that for you.

  8. i think it was inevitable because of the nature of your relationship from the outset.

    it's too much to explain online, and the lack of adequate online-communication skills makes me feel condescending (which is SO not my intent).

  9. *wince*

    That totally sucks. :(

    It's really too bad that things went this way, but I guess if he's not ready to commit to a serious relationship, it's all for the best. Cold comfort, though.