Went to a lecture Shabbos afternoon:
Come hear one of our most popular speakers. His classes range from Medical Ethics to Dating and always inspire stimulating and thought-provoking conversation. Topic this week: "How To Choose a Marriage Partner." We encourage single and married folks to join us. Because you can always use these insights to help your friends!
The speaker is a physician with a counseling degree who now works for a pharmaceutical venture fund. He's quite opinionated, and definitely stimulated a lot of conversation.
Afterward I spoke with a longtime, very flirtatious male acquaintance. He's got a PhD in math or philosophy or physics, something difficult and esoteric. So he's extremely bright. But he told me something extremely troubling.
"When I'm open to a woman," he told me, "what makes me open to her is my physical attraction to her. Women need to respect and admire a man to feel that attraction toward him. But men don't need to feel that for a woman in order to open up to her emotionally. I know you'd like that kind of respect and admiration, but that's just not how men are."
Now on the one hand, I'm inclined to believe him. If a man with at least one, maybe two PhDs doesn't care about respecting and admiring his woman's intellect, then what man would?
Should I just not "list" my intelligence and accomplishments as selling points when I'm trying to attract a man's love? Should I not expect -- or even want -- the man in my life to appreciate me intellectually?
On the other hand, he's 51 and single. Maybe he's not the right person to ask about making an intimate relationship work.
Maybe I should call that venture-funding doctor and ask what he thinks.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"