Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Just in case you're curious

This is how "insignificant other" -- the guy who thought my profile was much too much about Ayelet -- describes himself:

I love these descriptive essays; the key is to be subjectively honest.

I'm filled with absolutely cool middos, gevaldik good looks, cheseddika attitude. My table manners are impeccable and I know lots of Mishnayos b'al peh. I can make up stories that shock people at nearby tables in fancy restaurants.

I have enough brains to learn a blatt gemara.and to be a success in my career...But brains are no help when love and duty conflict.

Marriage is usually the derech by which males realize that the universe does not revolve around them. Well, I got real close to both goals several times. So I consulted a big Mkubal. He told me the trick is to be absolutely insignificant.

Problem is, no woman really wants a guy who is insignificant ALL ON HIS OWN. It's too much like being married to a self-deprecating wimp. Most guys a woman wants are those whose presumptuousness and arrogance LOOKS like it can be fixed - by her . Her mission: to demonstrate to him that he is insignificant WITHOUT HER. This restores the cosmic balance between chesed and gevorah, netzach and hod, chocolate and vanilla.

Having children is a big issue for me. It is a banal irony that initial chemistry has nothing to do with it. I don't know why HaShem has challenged so many dazziling, beautiful, saintly women by giving them difficulties in bearing children -- can't He figure out some other way to squeeze out heartfelt Tefilos from people? Why is this such a constant theme amongst our Avos and Imaos? Last night I caught a shiur from Rabbi Reisman shlit'a (piped in live to my shul in Albany). He described how Iyov wanted to take HaShem to a din Torah. Take a number and get in line, Tzaddik!

"Why can't you adopt?", some ask. Well, we could, and I would, but the mitzva is to procreate.( RAISING THEM is another project.)

Speaking of procreation, here's a little anecdote about a pet who had it all -patter, career & offspring! You can use as a test to see if your date really understands Ahavat Yisroel:
So this guy walks past a house with a sign in front that reads: "Talking Dog for Sale". Rings the doorbell and a man opens it; guy asks
"Where's this talking dog?"
"Right around the'll see him" Guy goes to the back yard & sees a large yellow Labrador Retriever lying on the patio.
"Are you the Talking Dog?"
"Yep, thas me, " yelps the pooch.
The astonished guy asks "uhh, what's your story?"
"Well, when I was young I discovered I could talk. So I trotted over to the FBI field office and volunteered. The agents put me to work sniffing around suspected terrorists and drug dealers. These criminal targets all thought I was just another dog, so I was able to listen to their unguarded conversations and bring a lot of information back to my handlers. Eventually I met my mate, we had a couple of litters of puppies, and I retired... so here I am"

The stunned guy staggers back to the man at the front door.
"How much are you selling the dog for?"
"Ten dollars will do it"
"WHAT! I'm not complaining, but why so cheap?"
"Because that dog is just a big liar. He never worked for the FBI!"

OY---/(*!*)\ ---

What does this have to do with Ahavat Yisroel?
One of my great strengths is discovering what makes ordinary Jews special...even those with some glaring flaws!
I can't stand cruelty especially to children so my job is with investigators and attorneys, busting child abusers.
People call me up for reassurance in all kinds of situations.

... I never really wanted to be a Rabbi (my great-grandfather and great uncles were) but I did wind up with smicha anyway. Now I have to get up before dawn and learn. Some guys have it tough. Gratitude and hard work never get perfected.

Classical music, impressionist art, and dewy dawns. I should say I have a beautiful voice. If you've ever fallen asleep on a date from sheer boredom, you can see how this is quite a "miylah". I can sing you to sleep BEFORE you get bored.

This is what he's looking for in a woman:

I'm looking for someone who absolutely hates long walks on the beach !

Talk about being all about yourself.... Good luck, dude.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"

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