Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Some very literate online flirting

At his request, on Sunday I sent YM (aka "Hude," rhymes with "dude," short for Yehuda, which I spontaneously called him once and he liked, so now it's my name for him) a copy of one of my term papers, a DSM diagnosis of Jeffrey Dahmer for my Human Sexuality class. I'd described it to him, and he'd expressed an interest in seeing it.

Excellent read Ayelet, thank you, much enjoyed. Had a lot of unformulated thoughts, would have to reread a few times to cohere them properly. Quick observation: His aversion for killing victims while they were conscious indicates a modicum of conscience; Perhaps a person can become through conditioning 'de-conscienced' but even then it would be at most a suppressed conscience not a non existing one. Looking forward to reading that book to see exactly how the author applies the word "without" when using it in reference to a conscience.......good stuff kiddo, thanks

"That book" is Without Conscience, by Robert Hare, the world's leading expert on psychopathy; I'd referenced it in the paper and offered to lend it to him. I wrote back:

Hey Hude -- Dahmer wasn't without a conscience; he was not a psychopath. I wouldn't even diagnose him with "antisocial personality disorder," the weak diagnosis that psychiatrists who are afraid to use psychological tests came up with as a poor substitute for psychopathy in the DSM-IV. Remind me to tell you about that. Are we still tentatively on for Thursday? I'm going to be on the East Side for a meeting, but I'll be free by 7ish.

I've got an appointment with Dr. Roda, but Hude doesn't need to know that.

thanks for the rejoinder......sounds great, like the plan.... Remember, you're the gourmet so if you feel like patronizing a quiet lounge or the like hope you'll know of an accessible one... otherwise we can amble aimlessly and steal glances at each other lol....

A lounge? Sounds like drinks, not dinner, and I'll need to eat first. Best to make sure.

drinks or dinner, it's your call -- just let me know so I know whether to eat beforehand

and you can look at me profligately -- I'll give you all the glances you want, you don't have to steal them

I always let the guy choose whether we're having drinks or dinner, since he's the one who'll be paying for it.

lol profligately lol... excellent, just right for me, you're a cutie w/your locutions...

Well and good, but what are we doing on our date?

I'm a logophile, all right... but you didn't answer my question, habibi: dinner or drinks? either is fine, I just need to plan (I'm an unrepentant yekke)

He responded:

oysh sorry, slovenly pollack here who plans after the fact. Drinks eh voila!

I was a little disappointed. I guess I kind of expect to be taken for dinner on a date, especially early on in a relationship; I feel like it shows he's not stingy. My wise friend Dvora said this was a silly attitude. "Going for drinks shows that he's relaxed and not trying to prove anything (like whether he is stingy)."

I'm half Polish myself, but I decided to twit him anyway:

a pollack... then I won't expect you to be punctual or to use a fork and knife properly... so drinks or coffee would be best

My meeting is at 45th St./Park Ave. Do you want to meet somewhere around there? My cell # is xxx-xxx-xxxx. We can find a bar or coffee shop.

He was amused.

Sounds good to me Lettush... needn't worry bout the forks n knives, I was domesticated in England you know....

Hude lived in England from age 0-10, then spent 2 years in Guatemala, then moved to a midwestern state with a relatively small frum population. Maybe because he's an out-of-towner, not a typical New York yeshivish guy, he's less uptight and more fun. (One Brooklyn yeshivish guy I dated said after one date that he couldn't see marrying me because I didn't want to wear a sheitel all the time -- his sisters all wear sheitels, and he didn't want his wife to cover her hair any other way.)

Hude is not that rigid. I'll let you know how the date goes.

Oh -- "Lettush" isn't the way he pronounces "lettuce"; it's his nickname for me, the Israeli diminutive of Ayelet. After I called him "Hude" he decided he had to come up with a pet name for me. It sounds a lot cuter than it looks written out, trust me.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"

No comments:

Post a Comment