Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Why Ayelet has been so cranky lately

I can't take living without sex.

For years, despite my religion's prohibition of premarital sex, I had a series of friends with benefits or -- more perilously, during my more manic or depressed moments -- met up with strangers from telephone chat lines. Amazingly, I never got raped, killed, or infected with a sexually transmitted disease. But I'm trying to be chaste these days, and that is exacting a toll.

Some days are worse than others. But to those dear readers who ask why I've been so down lately, I say: it's quite simple. My life is a series of mishaps, betrayals, and frustrations. I get no comfort at the end of a long day, and I have no expectation of comfort anytime in the near future. It's killing me.

Literally. Stress kills. My blood pressure is up, and so is my cholesterol. That could be a factor of the weight I've failed to lose, but stress is definitely a contributor. My knees are too painful to allow much exercise. I no longer eat an entire Entenmann's cake in two days. Aside from sex, I have no way to discharge this ever-increasing allostatic load.

I am going to die sooner if I don't have sex soon.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"

3 comments:

  1. eeek.

    sorry. sigh.

    thank you for being brave and sharing your misadventures. and kudos for staying away from entemann's.\

    may G-d bless you with your zivug asap.

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  2. Well, this leaves us in an interesting conundrum, doesn't it? Do we wish for you to find an f-buddy, or do we wish for you to locate your zivug asap and marry him with all due alacrity, or do we bless you to find some other, less salacious form of stress reduction?

    I guess, to be safe, I'll do all three.

    But all this talk about dying is not cool, in my opinion. Rubs me the wrong way. Sounds too defeatist. Not the Ayelet I know and love.

    I still know and love you, of course.

    And although I could suggest some life-affirming outdoor activities, your hip is still bothering you. So I'm at a loss.

    What do you suggest? What do you wish for yourself?

    And for what it's worth, we all wish that, too. And we love and support you, in whatever imperfect ways we can.

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  3. What do I wish for myself? To get married, the sooner the better. Thank you for your support -- I really appreciate hearing from both of you.

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