Tuesday, August 07, 2007

And that's the end of Hude

I couldn't help myself. Every time I wear red I think of Hude, who is opposed to the color -- says it's the color of blood and the ancient Romans, who destroyed the Second Temple, and the Gemara says we shouldn't wear it. (If you think that sounds excessive and ridiculous, that's because it is. I haven't met one other orthodox Jew who spouts that kind of nonsense.)

Well, red happens to be my color, and the color of the kick-ass short-sleeve sweater I bought today. As I tried it on, I knew Hude would never approve.

So I sent him a little message on the website where we met:

I bought a really awesome red sweater. It makes my rack look fabulous. Too bad you'll never see it ;)

I knew he wouldn't be able to resist responding:

lol.......dammit no fair!

This is fun. Hude always thought he'd stump me with a really great vocabulary word, and of course he never did. Well, I recently met one I'd never ever encountered: tergiversation:

1.
The act of practicing evasion or of being deliberately ambiguous.
2. The act of abandoning a party or cause.

Rabbi Norman Lamm used the word to describe Noah Feldman's meretricious mewlings. I can't recall the last time I looked up a completely unfamiliar word that I didn't remember ever reading or seeing in context. And it's the perfect word for Hude. They should illustrate it with his picture in the dictionary.

So I deployed it:

That's just what craven tergiversation like yours deserves.

Brevity is the soul of wit -- something Hude could stand to consider; he responded:

lol....if my particular dispositions are so anathema as to cause you to effuse words which I have never used before ex. tergiversate, I am much looking forward to anathametizing myself some more, lol..........cmon now.........give up some more goodies please.......

That's barely coherent English.

Now you're just spouting polysyllabic words in a futile endeavor to appear erudite. It's not working. And as I recall, you were the one owing me some particular goodies but utterly failed to deliver. You're a man without honor, although I can't say you lack chutzpah.

He hit back with:

verily your venal vituperative vitriol veers verbose, and I'll simply vanquish your vindictive vendetta by vanishing.......

LO-SER!!! But I'll have the last word...

Lame, dude. Not that I'm surprised. I'm not vindictive, just pointing out your hypocrisy. But hey -- you're the one that has to live with it; I dodged that bullet.

Childish, I know. But amusing. And reminding me -- as if I needed to be reminded -- that I really did dodge a bullet.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"

3 comments:

  1. Why do you want to ditch this guy? Such snappy repartee! You can't say that you have this with most guys. At least he can come back at you with something! Isn't that worth something?

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  2. Not enough, NJG. Not nearly enough to give up wearing short sleeves and everything red.

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  3. As if some SAT words are enough to give up the color red! I mean, seriously. If red were so evil and terrible, why would it be one of the colors of the mishkan tapestries and priestly vestments? And why is it the color of the FIRST stone in the FIRST row of the choshen? I mean, seriously.

    Also, his V-rant differs not much from the opening lines of "V for Vendetta." Have you seen it yet?

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