Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Do I expect too much?

Several months ago I was contacted by a not-so-frum "gentleman" on one of the allegedly frum dating websites I frequent. I wasn't interested in him, not only because he wasn't shomer shabbat but because he was decidedly odd. I tried to rebuff him nicely. He was miffed, and I finally had to block him from contacting me.

Well, he deleted that identity, moved to Jerusalem, recreated himself, and contacted me again:

I remember you, cute as a button you are! So, I'm reading this - and everything you wish for is good, lovely, to be desired, but there is no such man, and if there were you probably wouldn't wait to throw him out the door! As I see it, your tznius is a real asset, and your beauty of course - inside and out. But your brain - I'm not sure ;o)

What I mean is - that your brain methinks is in the way of your heart. (It's a NY thing - I know, you can't help it ;o) But seriously, consider what you really want, Ayelet. If you really want the big shabbos, maybe you'll have to let go of that so-called "education" and "career" and all the noise associated with all that. Unlearn , relearn and learn afresh.

Maybe you should leave your comfy space in the city and come to Jerusalem, find a good community and find your way anew. Ah, why, don't listen to me! I'm but a wanderer! (Not exactly true.) As for me, I'm not looking for the big shabbos anymore. Just a like-spirited gem that appreciates me, that "gets" me and who I'll love forever just for that. The rest is just set-dec. Oh I do hope I don't sound smarmy and you don't take it the wrong way. I'm not sure why I'm even writing you. It's just that, well, you really are unforgettable!

All best, all goodness, in love and life --
Sincerely, Oddball

I don't even know how to respond to this. Is he saying that if I want a shomer shabbat home I have to jettison my career aspirations and any desire to be taken intellectually? That's an incredibly demoralizing thought.

And why is that only weirdos and flakes fall for my charms? Why can't a normal guy find me just as enchanting as this weirdo clearly does?
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Yuuck. Sorry about this. I hope you've blocked him again.

  2. Just did. Why am I such a weirdo magnet?

  3. Sometimes, weirdos have a hint of wacky intelligence, which is lacking in some, what you'd call, 'normal' guys. I mean, am I normal? Not hardly.

    Regardless. Ignore this misogynist moron. You can point to quite a number of intelligent, accomplished, frum women who manage to balance career and heimishe home handily. Take a page from their books. Then write your own.