Monday, August 06, 2007

Mystery woman

I'm going to a singles shabbaton this weekend -- my first in a long time. I probably won't know too many people there; I've never been to any of this organization's events. (This is one way I know I'm definitely not depressed; if I were, you couldn't pay me enough to jump into a dating pool full of strangers.)

Instead of working hard to let them know who I am and what I think about everything, I'm going to try to cultivate an aura of mystery. Say just a few trenchant, witty things (not too sarcastic; that's a turn-off). Make them wonder what I'm thinking and who I am. Subtly awaken in them the urge to get to know me.

It's a relatively low-risk endeavor, since I won't know most of the other attendees. I also doubt there will be many guys I'll be interested in or vice versa -- the organizer bent the rules to let me in, since I'm two years older than the cutoff. (I won't announce my age, but it will come up eventually if one of the guys takes a serious interest.) She did go out of her way to include me, though, so clearly she thinks I'm attractive enough to be there. A bit more validation.

I hope I manage to appear just slightly aloof, not overeager, ravishing, and fascinating. If I do manage to attract these non-eligible guys with this technique, I'll try to deploy it among more eligible candidates.
Copyright (c) 2007 "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Hey Ayelet,
    This post makes me think of this great Christine Lavin song:

    I want to be a mysterious woman
    I want to write mysterious songs
    I want everyone to wonder
    what is she thinking about?
    existentialism? nihilism? wrong
    I am thinking about
    defrosting my refrigerator
    but I could get into mysterious mood
    watch me ask the bartender
    for a drink he cannot make
    watch me order mysterious food
    food even Julia Child
    cannot pronounce right
    from cookbooks that time has forgot
    then maybe I will read
    Crime and Punishment for fun
    then again, maybe not

    I want to be a mysterious woman
    tantalize you with my come-hither stare
    maybe it will work a little better
    if you pretend I'm not wearing underwear
    If you pretend I was never a Girl Scout
    and I never learned how to twirl baton
    I feel a mysterious song coming on
    I think I hear I scream
    I think I hear ice cream
    melting all over
    the rock hard bread
    which is stuck to
    the chicken parts
    long since dead
    they're in a cold box
    within a cold box
    within a warm box
    (which is my room)
    there's a ceiling
    there's a floor
    there's a wall
    there's a window
    look at the moon
    it's a marble, it's a button
    it's a sequin, it's a polkadot
    stiched into the velvet sky
    the pocket of Sir Lancelot
    who is riding on Pegasus
    who is fighting with the Pleiades
    who is fighting Cassiopeia
    who is fighting with Hercules
    who is fighting with Betelguex
    who is fighting with the Milky Way
    that is stuck to the Bird's Eye Peas
    that is stuck to the ice cube tray
    that is stuck to the chicken parts
    that is stuck to the rock-hard bread
    hey, what am I doing here? I should be home defrosting my refrigerator instead

    But I want to be a mysterious woman
    I hate being so easy to read
    hey, bartender, give me a light yeah, a Bud light
    and a plate of pommes frites
    is all I need.

  2. Thanks for never letting me take myself too seriously, R.

  3. did that lady write that song when she was high? w0o0o0o...

    you go girl. i vote for mystery.

  4. That's a brilliant song, R. I wrote a none-too-similar poem in high school, about the metaphysical upheaval that flows from the mundane act of taking a shower.

    And Ayelet - I think your tactic is a good one. Withhold slightly. Inspire pursuit. Less is more. Black is the new black. That sort of thing.

    If they have party/social games, which they might, resist the urge to wipe the floor with all the other contestants. I realize that sounds like I'm asking you to attend the shabbaton with half your brain tied behind your back, and I'm not. Just go with your plan. Ignore me :)

    And most of all, have FUN.