Monday, September 17, 2007

No sense of humor

First day of internship went smoothly enough. I'm a little concerned about not having my own computer to use, since I'm expected to produce two weekly progress reports (complete with verbatim accounts of my interactions with clients). Other than that, the people seem nice and the work seems interesting enough.

Happy to report that my nausea is a thing of the (recent) past, although my appetite is moderate rather than hearty. That's a good thing, though.

I wrote the post title because I'm flummoxed -- yet again -- by the reaction of a guy I've been corresponding with online. Let's call him Senhor Brazil, since he's from that country.

I asked him what brought him to NYC. He responded:

I am basicaly hear in NYC running the office for the family bussiness based in Brazil; got married and divorced here in NY too !!!!
AS I am recently divorced; NYC is a big blur to me.... what the f... am I doing here? LOL
Senhor B.

(I'll overlook the grammatical errors, since his English is far superior to my Portuguese.)

how recently divorced?

and what's the family business? SHOES????? ;) Let me think. Gems? Coffee? Plastic surgery? Wax? What else is made or mined in Brazil?

Obviously I need to know how recently divorced he is; one RD-SOB or Little Marty is more than enough. (Also, I saw a picture of him, and while he's no Val Kilmer, he's definitely not my toxic type.)

Senhor B. has revisited the site. He's read the note. And... no response. It's driving me crazy. Was I too flippant? too blunt? too rude? Did he view my comments as an insult to Brazil? Did I ask too abruptly about his divorce? He says in his profile that he's sarcastic, which I liked; it's no fun being snarky by yourself. Does he disapprove of sarcasm in ladies?

Gentlemen readers of this blog: feel free to weigh in.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Jesu Christo, Ayelet! Chill out! So he hasn't responded. If I had to guess, I'd say you were too cerebral and quick for him. He probably doesn't know what "mined" means. And the sly reference to wax was (and is) brilliant, but it flew over this poor sap's head with an audible whoosh.

    In my opinion, anyway.

    You can't flirt with a foreigner. The subtleties of language, which we ply so cleverly in the pursuit of a knowing smirk or honest belly laugh, are LOST on these yokels who can't differentiate 'hear' from 'here.'

    Maybe I'm just biased and elitist. I mean, I know I am, but it hurts me to see sparkling and witty verbiage wasted.

    To your questions: You weren't too blunt, nor were you too flippant. Nor were you insulting to Brazil. Don't second-guess yourself here. Wait for a response. If none is forthcoming, be thankful you dodged a F... Brazilian bullet.

    Remember the famous words of our president, George W: "How many is a Brazillion, again?"

    Here, Here.

  2. Darling,

    I agree with Carmen about the chilling out bit, and here's my two bits:

    From my experience, many guys don't see the dating websites as something serious. It is fun to dabble in, browse all the profiles, check out all the women, maybe go out here and there, nothing serious.

    Think about the guys at shul who while they are talking to you they are looking over their shoulder for the next girl.

    Well they are also on the websites.

    And instead of the shifty no-eye-contact-while-I-talk-to-you, online in translates itself to - brief email exchange and then on to the next chick.

    Your response to Senhor Brazil was fine. Don't analyze and over analyze youself so much. Just go with the flow, and if the flow takes you to the shores of a shifty guy who drops the ball, then flow on to the next one, without eating yourself up.

    Take a step back and don't take frumster so seriously. Remember that the guys aren't. It is a playground. Have fun or skip on.


  3. I agree wholeheartedly with Carmen.
    There could be a thousand reasons why he hasn't responded that have nothing to do with you. Crisis in the family business, mixed feelings about dating post divorce, etc etc.
    Is this someone who on paper looks like a likely match? Maybe try and look for some less exotic guys. Just a suggestion which you can feel free to ignore.

  4. Hope you didn't take offense at the exotic reference. I
    am sorry if I was too flip. I just got a bad vibe from your initial description of this guy. But I think Bella framed it well. Try not to overanalyze the responses of the guys who frequent these dating sites. On a happier note, I hope this is the year you meet your Bashert. I know he's out there! Gmar Chatima Tova.

  5. I wasn't offended -- I just didn't think that his nationality was the problem, it was more his readiness for marriage/commitment. Sometimes cultures are too discordant for a relationship to work, but I don't think the U.S./Brazil divide is that great.

    As for your happier note -- AMEN! Gmar chatima tova.