Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Slip-slidin' away

Classes have started, I'm helping to organize a new student wellness/complimentary therapy group, I'm coordinating a panel discussion, and I'm trying to launch an interesting media advocacy project with some other former mental patients. I saw a bunch of classmates who expressed a lot of pleasure in seeing me and being in class with me. And I'm taking classes that more closely resemble psychology than many classes I suffered through last year.

I should be excited and energized. I'm not.

Why do I feel so stressed and overwhelmed? Why don't I feel motivated?

It's not just the normal back-to-school blues. The demands on me, so far, are relatively minor. But one of the deans wants me and my fellow group-founders to take a big part in organizing our annual Self-Care Day, I need to coordinate the external advocacy project (one of the other people who's supposed to take part has suffered a relapse and is now on medical leave from his job, so more's on me), and just thinking about all the reading I'm going to be assigned is choking me -- not to mention the papers and projects. I've got classes today from 9-1 and 6-8 -- an 11-hour day, although I do have a break in between; tomorrow I have another class and will probably be doing lots of reading.

Just last week I felt on top of the world, relaxed and happy. But then I spent time out of town with tons of married and rapidly breeding people, and felt like my life has stagnated. I can't think of another reason why my mood would have dipped so precipitously.

I can't afford to get depressed now. I'm wondering how I can cut back. It will probably be the external advocacy -- I have to focus on school and school-related activities, because that's what will get me hired after graduation. Fortunately, I'm seeing Dr. Roda in a few days.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

4 comments:

  1. Just the sheer volume of stuff sounds overwhelming. It's the first week of class. It's a new semester. Take things a little more slowly and relegate less-crucial activities to after the holidays, at least. Take small bites. It'll taste better and you'll be able to digest it better, too.

    God, I sound like a Jewish mother.

    One of the problems here is that you're thriving in this school and with these peers, so naturally, everyone's going to heap more stuff on you.

    Just be steady and it'll develop into a smooth routine.

    Love ya!

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  2. hang in there. can you take afternoon naps between classes?

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  3. I agree with Carmen--and I am a Jewish mother! Don't panic. Give yourself a day or two to get used to the load. Maybe the new projects will energize you once you plunge in.

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  4. I'm terrified of starting school tomorrow - so I hear ya! "Married and rapidly breeding people" - that's a great line, btw!

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