Saturday, November 17, 2007

Either that crazy, or that desperate

I can't remember how I met him on that online dating site. Can't remember who messaged whom. But I ended up having coffee with him, months ago, and now apparently he wants to marry me. This wouldn't necessarily be so terrible, but he's 13 years younger than I am, and he's Israeli. Either of those would give me pause; both are kind of a one-two punch.

Meshugener: Hi Ayelet

Ayelet: hi

M: i miss u u know

A: u hardly know me

M: haha

A: u need friends ur own age

M: i have... yet i like u

A: oy

M: hows 'the website' goin?

A: not really doing anything for me

M: no??

A: no, still single as ever

M: well im still here

A: well I can't marry u!
I'll be an old maid

M: well we can talk on phone if u like

A: for what?
look, you need to hang out with your friends, I don't have anything for you

M: okok y mad?

A: I'm not mad, I just don't think we have anything to offer each other

M: ppl make a living out of talking u know
so it helps

A: I don't get paid for talking
and u can't afford to pay me

M: haha i can pay

A: I couldn't take money from u

M: a ring is ok?

A says: ?
an engagement ring is a promise for the future
u can't buy me that ring!

M: y not?

A: because ur 13 yrs younger than I am!

M: we'll marry in alaska far away from eyes

A: what?
eventually we'd come back to NYC and ur family would flip out
unless ur not planning to tell them

M: Alaska means no one

A: I'm in the middle of grad school

M: grad in alaska??

A: I'm working here, I have an internship

M: but god were talking life here...

A: well, life is relevant
I don't have time to play around

M: im not

A: there is no way we can get married

M: will=way

A: u r CRAZY

M: destany is crazyer

A: u have PLENTY of time to find a nice girl ur own age

M: im not doing this for u but for ME

A: ?


A: if u want to have sex, u can find girls for that too, just not on the website

M: y be like that?

A: what do u want?
haven't u contacted any young women on the website lately?

M: i'm not on there at all

A: y'd u give up on it?

M: i couldn't find someone like u

A: omg of course u could, u could find a girl just as nice and MUCH cuter

M: i tried

A: u haven't been trying long enough

M: its a pitty u dont want me

and u don't even know me

M: im not gonna beg u know

A: what do u call this?

M: begging

A: how long have u been looking? a few years? give it time
y r u so hung up on me?
ur probably just tryin to get me to sleep with u

M: y u say that??

A: becuz u don't know me well enuf to be this crazy about me

M: ill sleep with my wife only

A: good for u

M: yes
u'll be happy to have a young man at ur side no??

A: oy vey
I'll be 40 in less than 5 years
u can't be serious
we only met once!!!!

M: we shall meet again

A: u r craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy

M: what if i am...

A: I don't wanna marry a crazy guy
I'm crazy enough

M: but u know im not crazy
it just a mettafor...
A think how good it can be

A: how good would it be?

M: ill let u sleep on it & tell me what u think ok

A: I can't believe ur serious

M: me either

A: ur too young to be desperate

M: im so not...i just found what i wanted all along

A: u don't know I'm what u want
what brought this on tonight? did u have a dream about me or something?

M: actually i dream alot of u

A: after one coffee date??

M: its like i found the glass shoe

A: ur out of ur MIND kid

M: think abt it ok
let me know

A: okay, I'll think about it

M: u wont...

A: honestly, I promise I will

M: u cant know what hashem plans

A: true

M: ill hear from u soon?

A: I don't even remember what u do
how do I know u can afford me? ;)

M: ahaha A let me ask u does it really matter how much money i got??

M: not right now, if we had kids it would

A: I think u need to be a little more settled before u get married

M: y do u think im not??

A: last I heard ur boss wasn't payin u

M: ahaha since than alot of water past in the yarden

A: ok
take me out to dinner to prove it

M: oh ill be glad to prove i get paid quite well..

A: u r the craziest kid I ever met

M: dont think im kidding ok

A: how can u not be kidding?

M: thats y i was telling u to NOT think that

A: oy
so when are we having dinner?

M: u decide its ur night..

A: tomorrow at 7

M: ill check ok if i can tmrrow

A: k
talk to u tomorrow to confirm

M: A ok

A: shalom

M: say salam

A: y?
r u really an Arab?

M: a terrorist

A: oy
killing Jewish girls one at a time

M: one only one

A: eek

M: im too excited so i gotte end

A: okay... too much info
talk to u tomorrow

I can't believe I'm actually considering going out to dinner with him...
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. He sounds like a cute little flirt to me. Not serious (if he was serious then (A) he wouldn't have waited so many months for a second date and (B) he wouldn't be like "i met you once! marry me!") but fun all the same.

    I would go just for a fun ego boost. Flirting with younger guys is fun. I can predict smiling throughout the evening at his cute flirty attitude.

    Only don't expect him to be serious! Cuz he ain't! Just go for the fun.

  2. Your first instinct is correct--don't waste your time!


    "mettafor" - need i say more?

  4. No, the Knight was only 9 years younger than I am. And I'm giving him a pass on "mettafor" because English isn't his first language. But I think the consensus is that I'm not yet desperate enough to date him.