Saturday, November 17, 2007

Either that crazy, or that desperate

I can't remember how I met him on that online dating site. Can't remember who messaged whom. But I ended up having coffee with him, months ago, and now apparently he wants to marry me. This wouldn't necessarily be so terrible, but he's 13 years younger than I am, and he's Israeli. Either of those would give me pause; both are kind of a one-two punch.

Meshugener: Hi Ayelet

Ayelet: hi

M: i miss u u know

A: u hardly know me

M: haha

A: u need friends ur own age

M: i have... yet i like u

A: oy

M: hows 'the website' goin?

A: not really doing anything for me

M: no??

A: no, still single as ever

M: well im still here

A: well I can't marry u!
I'll be an old maid

M: well we can talk on phone if u like

A: for what?
look, you need to hang out with your friends, I don't have anything for you

M: okok y mad?

A: I'm not mad, I just don't think we have anything to offer each other

M: ppl make a living out of talking u know
so it helps

A: I don't get paid for talking
and u can't afford to pay me

M: haha i can pay

A: I couldn't take money from u

M: a ring is ok?

A says: ?
an engagement ring is a promise for the future
u can't buy me that ring!

M: y not?

A: because ur 13 yrs younger than I am!

M: we'll marry in alaska far away from eyes

A: what?
eventually we'd come back to NYC and ur family would flip out
unless ur not planning to tell them

M: Alaska means no one
run away..like

A: I'm in the middle of grad school

M: oh....no grad in alaska??

A: I'm working here, I have an internship

M: but god were talking life here...

A: well, life is relevant
I don't have time to play around

M: im not

A: there is no way we can get married

M: will=way

A: u r CRAZY

M: destany is crazyer

A: u have PLENTY of time to find a nice girl ur own age

M: im not doing this for u but for ME

A: ?

M: I WANT

A: if u want to have sex, u can find girls for that too, just not on the website

M: y be like that?

A: what do u want?
haven't u contacted any young women on the website lately?

M: i'm not on there at all

A: y'd u give up on it?

M: i couldn't find someone like u

A: omg of course u could, u could find a girl just as nice and MUCH cuter

M: i tried

A: u haven't been trying long enough

M: its a pitty u dont want me

A: I AM 13 YEARS OLDER THAN U
and u don't even know me

M: im not gonna beg u know

A: what do u call this?

M: begging

A: how long have u been looking? a few years? give it time
y r u so hung up on me?
ur probably just tryin to get me to sleep with u

M: y u say that??

A: becuz u don't know me well enuf to be this crazy about me

M: ill sleep with my wife only

A: good for u

M: yes
u'll be happy to have a young man at ur side no??

A: oy vey
I'll be 40 in less than 5 years
u can't be serious
we only met once!!!!

M: we shall meet again

A: u r craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy

M: what if i am...

A: I don't wanna marry a crazy guy
I'm crazy enough

M: but u know im not crazy
it just a mettafor...
A think how good it can be

A: how good would it be?

M: ill let u sleep on it & tell me what u think ok

A: I can't believe ur serious

M: me either

A: ur too young to be desperate

M: im so not...i just found what i wanted all along

A: u don't know I'm what u want
what brought this on tonight? did u have a dream about me or something?

M: actually i dream alot of u

A: after one coffee date??

M: its like i found the glass shoe

A: ur out of ur MIND kid

M: think abt it ok
let me know

A: okay, I'll think about it

M: u wont...

A: honestly, I promise I will

M: u cant know what hashem plans

A: true

M: ill hear from u soon?

A: I don't even remember what u do
how do I know u can afford me? ;)

M: ahaha A let me ask u does it really matter how much money i got??

M: not right now, if we had kids it would

A: I think u need to be a little more settled before u get married

M: y do u think im not??

A: last I heard ur boss wasn't payin u

M: ahaha since than alot of water past in the yarden

A: ok
take me out to dinner to prove it

M: oh ill be glad to prove i get paid quite well..

A: u r the craziest kid I ever met

M: dont think im kidding ok

A: how can u not be kidding?

M: thats y i was telling u to NOT think that

A: oy
so when are we having dinner?

M: u decide its ur night..

A: tomorrow at 7

M: ill check ok if i can tmrrow

A: k
talk to u tomorrow to confirm

M: A ok

A: shalom

M: say salam

A: y?
r u really an Arab?

M: a terrorist

A: oy
killing Jewish girls one at a time

M: one only one

A: eek

M: im too excited so i gotte end

A: okay... too much info
talk to u tomorrow

I can't believe I'm actually considering going out to dinner with him...
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

5 comments:

  1. He sounds like a cute little flirt to me. Not serious (if he was serious then (A) he wouldn't have waited so many months for a second date and (B) he wouldn't be like "i met you once! marry me!") but fun all the same.

    I would go just for a fun ego boost. Flirting with younger guys is fun. I can predict smiling throughout the evening at his cute flirty attitude.

    Only don't expect him to be serious! Cuz he ain't! Just go for the fun.

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  2. Your first instinct is correct--don't waste your time!

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  3. DON'T GO THERE.

    "mettafor" - need i say more?

    ReplyDelete
  4. No, the Knight was only 9 years younger than I am. And I'm giving him a pass on "mettafor" because English isn't his first language. But I think the consensus is that I'm not yet desperate enough to date him.

    ReplyDelete