Saturday, December 29, 2007

Another Brooklyn boy

Okay, so I had nothing better going on tonight -- actually I was supposed to have drinks with a supposed friend, but I canceled after he emailed me,

Wear sumthin' sexy


He and I worked together more than ten years ago, and I hadn't seen him in at least five years, when I ran into him and his pregnant wife outside Cafe Edgar's. He found me on Facebook recently, after his divorce, and we went for drinks. The more he drank, the more he gave off a slightly romantic vibe, which was decidedly odd to me, since I'd never been interested in him in any way except as a colleague. He's Jewish, although not orthodox, and he's always struck me as very narcissistic -- I wasn't surprised he'd gotten divorced, since he seemed to love himself more than his wife. Plus, he's as enthusiastic a Republican as G.I. Josh, and I've had about enough of that to last me a lifetime.

Moreover, Self-Centered Republican (is that totally redundant?) worked with me during one of my worst hypomanic episodes, when I was fired from the first of several jobs lost due to illness. I wasn't sure what he remembered from that time, but I assumed it couldn't be complimentary, since memories from those days make me cringe.

At that time I was a good 45 pounds lighter than I am now, probably the prettiest I've ever been -- that hypomania followed the depressive episode when I lost 1/4 of my body weight. It didn't occur to me that SCR would consider me attractive now -- so the vibe was perplexing, and I wasn't sure if I was really feeling it. But he had three drinks, was annoyed that I just had coffee, and before he left took my hand and made me promise that next time we got together I'd drink something alcoholic.

I wrote to SCR this past week and said, "I'm done with the semester, and I could use a drink!" We planned to get together tonight. But then he requested sexy attire, and I got nervous. I wrote him:


His answer didn't really satisfy me:

It's Saturday night!

Then he wanted to meet even later than we'd scheduled, and I didn't want to be drinking with him late at night. So I had coffee with Captain TMI instead.

Going out with two Sephardim from Brooklyn in one week might be more than I can take. Captain TMI wasn't as annoying as Captain Best Effort, but he was also very "I, I, I, me, me, me." Where he's lived, what he's done, his accomplishments, his family, whom he's dated, yada yada yada. He's led an interesting life, true, but I heard a little too much about it, including his parents' divorce and his broken engagement. (Is it some kind of requirement that Sephardic Brooklyn guys break at least one engagement before they meet the right girl?)

I don't know if he's going to ask me out again. He did appreciate my cool black nail polish and my intelligence, and wanted to see copies of the article I've published and the one I'm sending around. I think we'll be Facebook Friends, but I don't think he's the guy for me. Actually, I'm kind of already thinking of another girl for him -- but first we'll see if he wants to see me again. He didn't repulse me physically or annoy me cognitively as much as CBE did, so I guess I'd go out with him again.

Before I went to meet Captain TMI at, coincidentally, Cafe Edgar's, I contacted another guy on the dating website. He's three years younger than I am and something of a gym freak, so I didn't know if he'd be interested in me, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. According to his profile he's a diehard romantic seeking a kind, attractive, poised, professional woman, and "I have a lot to give the right princess who wants to be treated like a queen."

Sounds good...

Subject: do you like brunettes? ;)

You sound like a true romantic. I would love to be treated like a queen, as long as I'm allowed to give as good as I get.

When I got back from coffee with Captain TMI, I was pleased to find his response:

Of course, who doesn't like brunettes, especially grounded, balanced and pretty ones!

It would be nice to get acquainted. I try to be romantic, too!

But I have one reservation. That is, while I'm not looking for "casual passion" as your uncouth suitor so ineptly proclaimed, I'm also not ready to settle down VERY soon. I tend to take my time in getting acquainted. I don't believe in a shidduch approach where we meet and get married in 6 months. I promise to treat you like a queen regardless of where things may go. I like to think that I have amazing derech eretz, but no humility in self-assessment :)

But I'd be privileged to get to know you as time unfolds and as a romantic story may begin!

Charming -- and for once I'm not saying that sarcastically! How should I respond?

Some guys like blondes ;) Thanks for the compliments -- you are as charming (and cute!) as your profile indicates.

I would love to get to know you better. For the record, I would *never* get married within six months of first meeting someone, although I don't think I would date someone for much longer than six months before breaking up or getting engaged. But that's kind of premature to consider at this point -- right now we should just see if we get along well enough for a date.

As they say in Yiddish, "Don't be humble -- you're not so great" ;) I'm glad that you value derech eretz; it seems to be an endangered species nowadays. Give me a call sometime and we'll see if there's potential for a first date.

I'll keep you posted....
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. This could be promising--he actually sounds like a nice guy! (Who knew there were any left on that site?) Let us know if it goes anywhere. :)