Thursday, December 20, 2007

The invaluable intern

Our ACT team bills Medicaid in two ways: "partial," which means we've had two client contacts that month, and "intensive": six. A contact is 15 minutes or more spent with the client in the course of a single day. My supervisor's on vacation, so I'm trying to meet with several of her clients before the end of the month to bring them up to six contacts -- and to see how they're doing, of course. I'm also being sent to take care of random other clients when the full-time workers are too busy.

Today I spent about an hour and a half taking one client home after a minor surgical procedure. She was hungry, so we stopped by a deli so she could get a sandwich. Then the anesthetic wore off and we ran to the pharmacy to fill her painkiller prescription.

I tell you, her face lit up when I walked into the waiting area. "Ayelet! I'm so glad it's you!" she said, enveloping me in a hug. She looked like one of my nieces meeting me at the door. We're really not supposed to touch the clients; next time I see her, I'm probably going to have to tell her that I only hug people right after they've had surgery.

So the client was delighted, the client's caseworker was happy, and the program director was ecstatic -- because that was our sixth contact with that client. Another intensive payment from Medicaid. "I'm going to miss having a student in May," said the program director wistfully. I just hope the client doesn't catch the cold I'm coming down with.

I spoke to Captain Best Effort last night. He wanted to take me out for a looooooooong date. He wants to spend lots of time getting to know me.

"Let's go to Rockefeller Center!" he cried enthusiastically.

"Why?" I asked, hoping he would not suggest ice skating.

"You know, to look at the tree, to walk around..." he said.

It's so romantic. And I'm so not in the mood to do that with him.

I finally agreed to have dinner with him again, but said that in the beginning part of a relationship, it's not a good idea to spend too much time together. It's good to have time apart so you can reflect on how things are going.

He bought it, but I'm wondering. If I were into him, I'd totally want to spend the day with him. Instead, I can only take him in small doses. Am I really trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? It's so hard to know. On paper there's nothing wrong with him that's, well, not wrong with me; "I'm not attracted to chubby guys," she said, polishing off the last doughnut in the box. He likes to be cultured and well-rounded and well-read. All good things. Why aren't I impressed?

On our date, toward the end, he tried to take my hand and I pulled it away. He was talking about how I look so very young for my age, most women's hands reveal their age but mine don't. He reached out and took my hand; I pulled it back. Nice try; I know I look young, you can't disarm me that easily.

He sneaked in another attempt by complimenting my soft skin and trying to touch my hand again for confirmation. But I looked at him sternly and he withdrew. That kind of thing only bothers me when I'm not attracted to a guy. If I like a guy, I'm all for holding hands on a first date.

"I think you can tell I don't want you to touch me," I said snippily. (Kind of amazing he called for a second date.)

Maybe it's a good thing I'm not so instantly attracted to him. Maybe that's the only way I can make a relationship actually work out -- kind of a built-in protection against taking things too quickly.

I don't know if I'll ever develop an attraction to him. Then again, never say never. My friend Shuli called me after her fifth date with Avner and told me she could never be attracted to him. "He's so short. He's so slight," she sighed. (Shuli likes tall, beefy guys -- firemen in particular.)

They're expecting their third child in a few months.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Is he a good man?

    Does he have a good heart?

    Will he be a good husband to you and do his best to make you happy?

    Will he be there for you?

    Will he make a good father?

    You seem to say that intellectually and culturally you are compatible. He is obviously attracted to you.

    Are you being a fat nazi?

    It sounds like he is trying hard to be with you, that he likes you, and you haven't mentioned anything bad about him except his weight.

    Maybe spend the next one date not thinking about his weight and just focusing on getting answers to some of the questions above and deal with the weight later. You can always start an exercise program together later.

  2. Only after writing that comment did I click on the link to your previous post about him where you wrote thar he was full ofhimself and annoying. So I take back what I wrote. I know I couldn't date someone who annoys me.