Sunday, March 02, 2008

Lazy day

I did nothin' all day except watch TV on the computer, wash my hair, paint my nails, wax my legs, and talk to TD. He's quite a talker. He called me a bunch of times.

TD's fun to talk to, but I worry that he'll lose interest as soon as he sees me in person. NDD told our mutual friend Nice Jewish Guy that I didn't look like my posted pics -- so I took most of them down. The only picture of me is about a year and a half old, and reflects my current heft. Which TD seems to appreciate.

I guess I'm gun-shy because over the years I've had extensive pre-date conversations with other men that led up to one and only one date. Both at this weight and at lesser weights. I don't want that to happen again. Of course, the best way to forestall that would be to stop talking to TD and wait until our date on Tuesday. But what else am I going to do all day? Study? Feh.

More troubling, TD mentioned in passing that he had "some crazy ex-girlfriend -- she was bipolar and an alcoholic, she punched me in the face to wake me up one time. She refused to get any help -- that's why I left."

Uh-oh.

Careful questioning elicited relevant details, and I might have been able to convince him that she actually had borderline personality disorder instead. I wasn't making it up -- she evidenced sudden violence, splitting, and other very borderline symptoms. But now of course I'm even more afraid to tell him about my disorder. Not that I was planning to open with that on the first date.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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