Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Keeping up appearances

"I admire you so much, Ayelet," said Carly. "I feel totally burned out, and look at you -- you're always focused on your learning."

We were sitting in the free "Spanish for Social Work" class my school decided to offer during the last seven weeks of the semester. I was there because I've paid so much for this education -- I'm going to grab any freebie I can get. Also because Spanish is a useful language to speak, even badly, when you work with the underprivileged in New York City. Also because it's taught by a really nice physician, and I'm touched that he's giving up his time to teach social workers, who normally aren't all that valued by doctors (and I feel guilty that attendance is dwindling along with the semester).

"I'm not so focused at home," I said. "There I'm focused on watching movies on my computer instead of doing my reading."

These days, it's hard to imagine how someone could look at exhausted, cranky Ayelet and see an idealistic, enthusiastic lifetime learner. But I must be looking better than I feel these days. Today I felt like a huge blubbery whale with frizzy hair, but when Ruth came into DBT class she said, "Ayelet, you look so pretty today!"

Ruth's awesome -- and not just because she thinks I'm pretty. She asked me to be her licensing exam study buddy -- which is great, because it will probably keep me on track and focused. And she already bought all the materials. Total win-win.

Unfortunately, Ruth is being run ragged at The Other Bad Place. At 5:00, after running three therapy groups and seeing two individual patients, her supervisor says, very nicely, "Oh, Ruth, you should go home!" But Ruth still has to do a huge pile of progress notes and paperwork. She's there until 7 or 8 every night.

It's called "passive aggression." I sure dodged a bullet. And apparently I'm not the only student they declined to enroll, so I'll take their incredibly unethical gang-rape mind-fuck group interview with a few more grains of salt.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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