Sunday, April 13, 2008

Thinking strategically

There's an application on Facebook that's supposed to introduce you to the friends of your friends, and hopefully you'll find someone you want to date. So far most of the guys who've found me attractive haven't been all that Jewish. But a few Jews have, and I've tried to strike up a conversation with them, with remarkable lack of success. We get to the point of expressing mutual interest, and then it goes nowhere.

Then some guy and I found a mutual interest, and we friended. Cute, nice smile, a few years younger than I. Can't remember who poked whom first -- probably I poked him. Then we were poking back and forth. Then I got fed up with poking and emailed him:

enough poking -- ask me to have coffee already ;)

This runs contrary to the advice of my "Rules-certified" dating coach. For what that's worth. I didn't think he'd respond, but he did:

you're cute! being that we have a few friends in common I guess you are safe. I am going away tonight. After passover would be a perfect time for coffee. Happy and healthy

PS: Starbucks, 7Eleven, or Dunkin' Donuts?

This is progress! This is behavior that should be reinforced!

I'm even cuter in person ;) Chag kasher v'sameach. After yomtov let's go to Cafe Edgar's. They have kosher cake, so we can get a chometz fix ;)

Let's see if he responds...

I'm going to Vegas tonight. I'll be back on Wednesday morning. I'll be home for Pesach. What about you?

I bet you are cuter in person. Edgar's sounds great, in the meanwhile, POKE AWAY

Don't need to tell me twice. So I poked and responded:

If Pesach isn't in Vegas, what draws you there? Are you a gambler? Because if you are, you can't be a witness, and I probably wouldn't want to date you ;)

I'll be in Manhattan for Pesach. Usually I go to my sister's in the suburbs, but it's a shlep, and I have class Tuesday morning, so I didn't feel like shlepping. (Also, her in-laws are going to be there and the house will be pretty crowded.) Where's home for you?

I'm a terrible flirt. I really am. Why do I go and accuse the guy of being an invalid witness? Why insult the man?

I'm going to Las Vegas for a convention. While I am there I will obviously play the casinos. I enjoy blackjack but I am not a gambler. I go a few times a year to Vegas and every so often to Atlantic City. I live in Brooklyn. I do the meals by my parents. They live a few doors down from me.

Looks like I've managed not to scare him off. Yet.

I learned two good things: 1) you're not such an inveterate gambler that you can't bear witness, and 2) you love your parents enough to live near but not with them. Good boundaries to go with that great smile ;)

Have a great flight, enjoy the convention, kosher and happy Pesach, see you at Edgar's. If you give me your email address before your flight, I can PayPal you a dollar for you to give to tzedaka after you land ;)

Observant Jews give a few bucks to people going on a plane -- it's designated for charity. Obviously Gd wouldn't want you not to give it to charity, so he'll make sure the plane doesn't crash. Very scientific.

I'm at the airport. I have mitzvah money from mom. my email is I enjoy blackjack and could, play for hours but I bet with my head not above it.

He emailed me from the airport! And I managed not to ask, "Which head?"

Well, I can't out-do your mom ;) Have a good flight, enjoy meeting up with your uncle, and don't take a card after you've drawn 17. My email address is; drop me a line if you have a minute between the convention and the blackjack. What kind of convention is it?

I took a look at (not his real URL), and it seems he's a wedding photographer/videographer. Interesting. My grandfather and father were and are big photography buffs; we have about seven albums of baby pictures and a bunch of photos that didn't make the cut.

I wonder if I can find out more about him... I searched a dating website for guys his age in his area. And guess what? Not only is he on there -- but I emailed him a while back and he never responded because he wasn't a paying member. He hasn't been back on the site in more than a month.

So I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm going to try to continue thinking strategically -- not telling him, for instance, that he's blown me off electronically. I'm just going to continue reinforcing the behavior I like, and hope he thinks I'm cuter than my photos when we meet. It's a small start, but it's a start. I'll let you know if Shalom Baruch (SB) lives up to his emails.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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