Friday, May 02, 2008

Don't shop 'til you get enough

I'm in the mood to shop again. It's not as bad as it's been in the past, but it's still a fairly strong craving. I've been trying to sublimate it by throwing myself into shopping for things I need -- termination gifts for my clients and Melanie, flowers sent to my mom and grandma for Mother's Day, and suits for interviewing.

It's really hard to find suits that fit. I'm sort of lumpy right now; I used to be much sleeker. So it's difficult to find tailored, woven garments that look professional and not bunchy on me. H&M sure doesn't have any. I bought a couple of rock-bottom discounted blazers from an outlet website I love and I've had good luck with in the past, so I hope they arrive soon and fit me; I can wear them with black skirts. I'm undergoing a triple-interview procedure at the site where I really want to work, and I only have two blazers right now, since none of my suits fit. I need something for the final day to really dazzle them.

The things I have to go through just to get a job.... I do plan to tell Dr. Genuine this:

"There are three unique reasons why you should hire me, aside from my credentials, experience, and excellent work ethic. First, I called you on it when you were talking about being genuine with people while wearing a psychoanalyst's poker face with me. So that shows I really understand the concept of being genuine.

"Second, I made you laugh when I called you on your less than genuineness, and I guarantee I will make you laugh at least once a week if you hire me. I'm a really entertaining co-worker and subordinate to have around the office. Just ask the ACT program director; I crack her up every team meeting. Only in appropriate ways, of course. This work can be stressful, and appropriate humor can release a lot of tension. The team I join will enjoy that aspect of my personality.

"Finally, I excel at instituting significant positive changes wherever I work. I assess, take initiative, and create effective solutions. At the DV shelter I developed a schedule that increased group attendance and commitment. They even started using it in the charts. At the ACT team I saw that the substance abuse treatment group was inappropriate for the majority of the clients, and I developed a new one that will continue after I'm gone. If you hire me, I promise that I'll use my creativity and analytical skills to make your program even more excellent than it is now."

Kinda sounds like I'm bragging, but I made Dr. Genuine laugh several times during the interview, and it must have been appropriate because I made the semi-finals. I just can't help being this smart and funny.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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