Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Not sure how I feel

SB is a nice guy. But he's also a little corny sometimes. He makes jokes that aren't funny and then continues in that vein until it's frankly annoying. I can see why Shimona didn't want to date him -- she has no patience for that sort of thing.

Still, we had a good time tonight, he thinks I'm smokin' hot, he's a genuinely nice guy, he's reasonably bright (and thinks I'm brilliant), he laughs at my jokes, and I can see him being the type to worship the ground I walk on. Which is not a bad trait in a man. I guess I don't have to decide right away whether he's right for me. We went for a walk in Central Park, which he has never visited in the more than three decades he's lived in the city (honestly, outer borough folk are so provincial) and then had dinner.

He'd be mortified if he knew I disclosed that 1) he loves chick flicks and 2) he loves to snuggle. He got a little handsy in the park, but he kept it appropriate.

I thought about mentioning to him, casually, that I know he told Shimona he's not looking to get married. But if I do that, I lose my power -- it's as good as saying he's the one who's going to decide where the relationship goes. Also betrays a stronger interest in him, which might induce him to feel cavalier and complacent, like he's got me where he wants me.

I always want him to think he wants me a little more than I want him. (Which right now is true enough.) That way he'll be stimulated by the challenge of winning and keeping me, which will keep him in the game until I've made up my mind about him. It feels weird, but it's thinking strategically. I just have to keep that focus in mind.

Today is my last day of grad school. I can't believe it's over -- it seems only yesterday I was entering the school with tremendous trepidation, emotionally shredded by The Bad Place, devastated that I wasn't going to be a psychologist and unable to see myself as a social worker. Today, not only am I proud as hell to be a social worker, I think social work is a superior profession to psychology.

There are some psychologists who invented a form of psychiatric rehabilitation for former criminal offenders called the "Good Lives Model." It's supposed to address all areas of a client's life, replacing deviant or maladaptive behaviors with more functional ones. They're terrifically proud of themselves for coming up with this revolutionary approach, which targets all causal aspect of offending behavior: biological, neuropsychological, and what they call "ecological" and define as "social, cultural, and personal circumstances."

Interventions take place in all three domains: medication for the biological, psychotherapy for the neuropsychological, and case management for the ecological. Essentially, they're recommending intensive therapy and supervision for the clients, which reminds me of ACT -- a practice model inspired by the effective work of a social worker.

The "Good Lives" psychologists act like they invented the ecological perspective. But they didn't -- social workers did. Psychologists forget how much situational factors affect behavior. In contrast, the social work perspective is always focused on context and the environment clients are in, which I duly noted in the paper:

Social workers, who are accustomed to the ecosystems model and strengths-based perspective, may not find this approach quite so novel.

Don't know if the editor of the journal will let me keep that line, but Dr. Supportive thought it was hilarious.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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