Tuesday, August 05, 2008


A few weeks ago I crashed a Shabbos lunch at Alona's, and she was nice enough to let me squeeze in. The other guests were a married couple and their young sons. They all seemed pretty nice, so I was glad I crashed.

Apparently the feeling was mutual. Yesterday, I got a note from Alona:

Rina and Tuvia, whom you met at our house over lunch a couple of weeks ago, want to set you up. She describes the guy below. See what you think; not sure if you feel he is too old for you.

Uh-oh. I read the forwarded note:

The person we had in mind is XY. He is [9 years older than Ayelet] and works as a controller; I don't know anything about the company. My spy (Tuvia) didn't find out. He is a tall, heavy-set man with a salt-and-pepper beard.

If Ayelet would like to meet informally, she could come to shul for the end of Tisha B'Av. XY is sponsoring the break-fast so I assume he will be there. She doesn't have to even say hello; she can let us know if she would be interested in a formal introduction.

Isn't it traditional to make shidduchs right after Tisha B'Av?

Now that is one of the nicest things anyone's tried to do for me in a while, and she's absolutely right that after Tisha b'Av it's customary to make shidduchim. But -- my first thought, verbatim, was, "Uch." Not only is he old, he looks old. And fat. I realize I'm not Kate Moss, but I'm really not into fat guys -- one of the reasons I couldn't stand Captain Best Effort, who used to knock things off tables, inadvertantly, with his gut.

Am I an ingrate? I wrote back to Alona,

Lord knows I hate to turn down a shidduch suggestion, but I think he's probably too old, too heavyset, and too salt-and-pepper bearded. It's really nice of them to think of me, though.

She got it; Alona put in her years as a single woman, and she hasn't forgotten how demoralizing the bad date can be. She asked for my preferred age range and sent it on to Rina, in case they know any other single, less heavyset, less bearded men.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Speaking as a fat guy with plenty of salt in his pepper colored beard, the salt doesn't neccesarily make you look old. And you can be fat but still fit. I'm always told I have a young face despite the gray and I'm probably in better shape then half of my thin friends who never exercise and who eat stuff full of chemicals and refined sugar.

    If they didn't use modifiers like "but fit" and "young looking face", you may be right. But it probably doesn't hurt just to look.

  2. Also, tallness mitigates the weight. There's fat & there's fat. Some people carry it better than others. If this guy's tall, the weight may not be as much of an issue.