Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Bachelorette blowout

I don't know why I do these things, but I volunteered to throw Ruth a bachelorette party. We originally set it for Saturday night but everyone canceled, so we rescheduled for Monday night. Fine with me -- I work 12 - 8 on Tuesday. I bought her the tackiest bachelorette veil I could find, trekking through three stores to find it, and met her tonight at Dive Bar.

I've seen Dive Bar a million times, living on the Upper West Side, and I never went in. Who knew that one of the Monday night regulars is Magic Marc, the Mentalist? He not only paid for all our drinks, he did a few tricks that amazed us. (Of course, we'd had a few pitchers of beer by then.)

Ruth was radiant in the tacky white, plastic-adorned veil. But Marc only had eyes for Lanie, one of Ruth's skinny friends, who was lanky and blonde in a black tank top. Even though he had his hands all over me -- I was sitting closest to him, and he's very touchy-feely -- he didn't see me.

"Can you put in a good word for me with Lanie?" he whispered in my ear. I wasn't even interested in him, but it was a little hurtful to be completely overlooked. Still, it wasn't my night, it was Ruth's, and did I mention he paid for the drinks?

Sharing a smoke outside with Ruth and her friend Shira -- interestingly, Marc and I both have nieces also named Shira and sisters who are modern orthodox, not that I'm saying I have more in common with him than Lanie, who isn't even Jewish -- I explained to them that he wasn't interested in me even though he kept touching my shoulder, my arm, my back.

"He likes Lanie," I said. They were surprised.

"I thought he was so into you!" said Ruth, knocking ash off her cigarette. I guess it's flattering they thought I merited his attention. He sees me as a fat girl, but they don't.

Neither does the Gorgeous Genius, whom I saw on my way to Dive Bar as he was coming out of a business meeting. He emailed me:

Subject: Didn't mean to snub you...

I was leaving a business dinner and not really able to stop and chat. How have you been? You looked nice tonight.

I wrote back:

No worries -- it looked like a business thing. I was on my way to a bachelorette party. We had a great time -- one of the other bar denizens turned out to be a mentalist/magician, so he did some tricks and paid for our drinks!

You also looked good.

I'll take my validation where I get it....
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Sharing a smoke outside with Ruth and her friend Shira

    Since when do you smoke?

  2. Once in a very very seldom. I've never bought a pack.

  3. OK, was just curious. I never, ever smoke.... except for the occasional camping trip in the past when a friend has brought along cigars & I've taken a puff or two. You'd be amazed at what an effective mosquito repellant cigar smoke is.

  4. Yeah -- a woman is just a woman, but a good cigar's a mosquito repellant.

  5. I've seen Dive Bar a million times, living on the Upper West Side, and I never went in.

    Me too. But I always start singing "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys when I see it. ("In a dive bar, in a west end town.")

    The wife was once in there when she was single.