Friday, September 05, 2008

How Ayelet got her groove back

Every Friday the clinical team discusses and allocates new clients. One of them piqued my interest. He had a few episodes of clinical depression under his belt, described himself as a "nervous" person, could not understand why he has been forbidden to contact a person he robbed at gunpoint -- "it's not like I hurt her," he complained to the screener -- and experimented with PCP, also known as angel dust.

My substance abuse treatment professor said that PCP users are at the tail end of the addict hierarchy. Alcoholics look down on potheads, because alcohol is legal. Potheads think they're better than cokeheads; cokeheads feel superior to crackheads. Crackheads position themselves above heroin junkies. [Among dopers, heroin sniffers scorn the skin-poppers, who in turn think they're just fine as long as they're not shooting directly into their veins or boosting.] But everyone thinks people who use PCP are messed up, because the only people who enjoy it tend to have serious mental problems.

So I was excited to have this client on my caseload. I thought he sounded interesting and entertaining. Unfortunately, I found out later that he's being sent to inpatient treatment instead. But I must be feeling somewhat better, because I seem to like my job again.

Also, the assistant clinical director, Clarice, told me how beautifully I decorated my office. She used it to see some of my clients while I was out sick, because her office is being moved and in disarray. I remember thinking how lovely her office was when I started, wondering if mine would ever look as nice. Now she wants my help to redecorate her new office!

I especially appreciated the compliment because my apartment is a disaster -- looks like a college dorm room with OCD. At least I know I'm capable of better if I put in the effort.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Hello,
    I wanted you to know how great your blog is! I think it is fabulous that you are putting yourself out there on line as such an important resource for people who are dealing with depression. There's such a stigma around it, and by sharing your story and your work you are doing an incredible service. Bravo!!

    And I totally get the work ups and downs. I have felt that so many times in my career and every time I do I take a step back and think "is this really about the job or is it about me." That perspective always seems to help!

    -Christa, your pedicure friend :)

  2. Thanks, Christa! Tell all your friends! ;)