Sunday, September 28, 2008

This is what I deserve?

Last night I got a Frumster email from a foreign-born man 8 years older than I. Call him Frenchy. He lives in another city. Usually I'm not interested in long-distance relationships with men more than 5 years my senior, but I'm trying, these days, to keep an open mind.

they soooooo cute, how are you, u have a great smile, when we can share a museum in Ny ?

I think "they soooooo cute" refers to the picture with my nieces and nephews. And I write in my profile that I like museums. Okay, so he can read English.

thanks, I don't know -- when are you coming to NYC? do u have a pic?

He saw my pictures, I have a right to see his.

yes, i have a pic to show you, i miss NY, i use to spend my sundays with a great breakfast and a museum tour, where i can send it to you i'm on yahoo

Normally I don't like giving a Frumster contact my email address right away, but if it's the only way to see whether he's repulsive... and he does seem fairly nice. I think. To be safe, I gave him an address I don't use very often. But since it's a Yahoo address, he took that as an invitation to IM me on Yahoo. Fine, whatever, I can roll with that.

Frenchy: how are you
Frenchy: how's ur nite
ayelet: I slept fine, thanks
Frenchy: ur webcam is open?

My what? That's pretty forward.

ayelet: I don't have a webcam
Frenchy: i wish i can see you
Frenchy: with your eyes just open
Frenchy: lol

HUH?

ayelet: u want to see me just waking up? that's kind of forward
Frenchy: no, it's nice to be the firs tto see someone
Frenchy: you never went to your door the mornin to pick up the NY times with just your robe and your eyes just open
ayelet: ???
Frenchy: lol

I'm sorry -- a man in his 40s should have better social skills than that! I don't think it's a language difference -- that's just bad manners or utter cluelessness.

ayelet: is it appropriate to talk to me like this the day before Rosh Hashana?
Frenchy: Wow
Frenchy: don't take it in the wrong way
Frenchy: and is nothing to do with the Rosh hashanna " ambiance"
Frenchy: but i understadn you not use to
ayelet: it's just not proper

He doesn't get it. And I don't have time to teach him why his behavior is incredibly inappropriate.

Frenchy: i think you got my pic and feel free to ask me Qs
ayelet: I'm sorry, I'm not interested
Frenchy: me2

Sure. Salvage your ego.

This morning I got an email from someone whose Frumster profile is sparse and whose photo is kind of scary. He's scowling. I realize people hate having their picture taken, but he just looks like a malcontent. Needless to say, he's not handsome; if he were, he'd probably look intense and sultry. Not that I'm looking for handsome, but ugly and scary is much worse than plain ugly.

On his profile, Malcontent (Mal for short) states that he has attained "some university" in terms of education. He doesn't list an occupation. The last guy I met on Frumster who didn't list his occupation turned out to be a security guard. Mal's self-description runs:

I enjoy doing research on the current lives of past encounters. I also like to read. I am also very found of walking.

The current lives of past encounters? Not, I don't know, movies, live music, traveling? Mal sounds... weird. So already my guard's up. Furthermore, the message he sent had no subject line, just:

Which shul do you go to?

That's all you want to know? What made you write to me? What caught your interest? Who the hell are you?

I wrote Mal back with the name of my synagogue, and I guess he approved, because he responded:

Can we ever meet?

Well, that depends on you, Mal:

Can you tell me a little more about yourself? Your profile doesn't really say much.

I kind of hope that will scare him off. Is this the best I deserve? Horny French guys with no boundaries? Ugly Brooklyn guys with no substance?
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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