Thursday, October 09, 2008

Almost made it

I fasted until about 5:30. Slept most of the day. But when I got up, I felt dizzy and shaky. I didn't want to have another seizure, so I had a bowl of cereal.

I kind of feel like my life is enough of a kapparah. Not because I'm single -- because of the illness. Always dancing backwards in high heels, trying to stay balanced. Right now it's difficult. I'm struggling. I don't feel like going to people's homes for yom tov meals -- I feel like a loser, without my own family and status. That's why I blew off most of my Rosh Hashana plans, and I think I'll hibernate over Succot as well.

Shocking news update: Jerusha's husband moved out. They're getting a divorce.

My mother told me a few weeks ago. He's involved with his former secretary, who's not Jewish. Although apparently he still goes to the same shul, and he's building the succah at their house on Sunday. I know that because Malka called me tonight to say that she managed to fast the whole day, and that her father is on the verge of buying a new house. With a pool. She's excited about the pool.

I made a stupid mistake. I said, "Do you know about his friend?"

"What friend?" she asked, alarmed.

"Isn't he moving in with a friend of his?" I hazarded. "A guy friend -- not a girlfriend, silly!" I think she bought it. Whew.

Of course they wouldn't tell her about his secretary. Who I guess will be converting to Judaism, since apparently my soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law is still going to shul. They just told her they'd been fighting a lot. Which has the added grace of being true.

I should feel sorrier for Jerusha, but I don't. I'm a bad person, I guess.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. WOW. Wow wow wow.

    I guess I shouldn't be so shocked at news like this, but I guess I am. Did you see any of this coming?

    Just curious, but how old (roughly) are your sister and BIL? I ask because I'm always curious, with divorces, about the mechanisms- he has a goomar, you mentioned, but I'm curious if it's a midlife crisis thing, or Jerusha ignoring him and his needs, or if he's just a jerk, etc.

    I know you'd like to savor the schadenfreude, but if I may say, this may be the perfect opportunity to mend fences with your sister. She may have been so bitchy to you all along because she was miserable in her marriage, perhaps suspecting or even knowing her husband was cheating on her but feeling powerless to do anything or economically trapped; she may have looked at your single status and thought that at least you had options, and been jealous. You could take this opportunity, post Yom Kippur, to patch things up, and be there for her and the kids.

    But what do I know-- maybe I'm just talking out of my ass....

  2. I agree with NJG - at least offer an olive branch - not b/c you have done anything wrong, but b/c your sister is in an awful position. It sounds lie abject humiliation to me - her husband cheating on her with his secretary. How cliche. Nobody deserves that.

  3. I agree with both comments. Maybe what's happened to your sister--horrible as it is--will level the playing field between the two of you and make it easier for you to get along.