Saturday, October 11, 2008


I don't feel like seeing people, outside of work. I don't feel like socializing. Once again, I look back at times when I went out for Shabbos meals, or hung out at kiddush and shmoozed, with a kind of wonder. How did I ever manage that? How did I actually enjoy talking to people?

Today I sat at home, then went to Barnes & Noble to do some reading. I would have gone to the library but it's being renovated. And at Barnes & Noble I felt uncomfortable, on display. I need to buy some more books for Succot, so I won't have to leave the house.

Maybe I'm thrown off my routine by the chagim, which this year fall in the middle of the work week. I'm functioning well enough at work; then again, no one there has to know how I really feel. My clients come into my office and speak, and usually I'm able to listen, do a little for them. But it's hard. Really, really hard.

So is writing. I have a feeling October 2008 will be identifiable as a depressed month by a low number of blog posts.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. disappointing the fans just messing,Dont worry about it

  2. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Know this mood will past as it has in prior episodes. Meantime let me know if there's anything I can do--and if you change your mind about eating lunch at shul w/us on succot (second day). Hang in there and try and remember how many people love and care about you!

  3. Read 2006 and 2007, Anonymous. By the time you're done, as Riva says, I should be in more of a writing mood.