Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Zzzzzzzzzz vs. Ouch

Yesterday I almost fell asleep during a meeting. My boss called me out to let me know he noticed. Honestly, I hadn't noticed. I thought I was paying attention. But I ran out and got coffee, which messed up my sleep. I got about 4 hours last night. I had real trouble getting up and getting to work, and I was afraid to take more than the anti-inflammatory medication lest I nod off again. Painkillers and muscle relaxants make you drowsy.

By the end of the day, my back was killing me and I was cranky. Short with clients; no patience for annoying coworkers. Waiting in the subway station, muscles aflame from waist to neck, I watched express train after express train enter and leave. Of course, I needed the local. By the time I finally spotted it in the tunnel, I almost wanted to throw myself in front of it.

You see, I've dealt with years of back pain before. I thought I was cured, thanks to tons of physical therapy, chiropractic care, and acupuncture. But now I've got back pain and knee pain. If this is what I feel like in my thirties, what are my fifties going to feel like?

A friend of mine who's also single despite being completely fabulous -- have I mentioned that frum men are idiots? -- told me that she plans to buy poison after her parents are gone. She didn't give herself an expiration date. But standing on the platform as more and more people gathered to wait, wondering if I was going to have to stand on the train -- which is extremely uncomfortable for someone with back pain -- I saw years of pain and waiting stretching ahead of me. I almost couldn't take it

"Almost" being the operant word, of course. I made it home and scarfed down a nice little cocktail -- all 3 medications, plus some aloe capsules for the resultant constipation. I saw Spike yesterday morning before work and felt pretty good, but by now that's dissipated. I'll see him again next Thursday. Fortunately, I've got the drugs to hold me over till then.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Get The Dr John sarnau book for backache (i dont think i spelled his name right) its excellent

  2. Actually, I went to him and spent $1000 on treatment that didn't work. But thanks for the suggestion.

  3. I remember your earlier back problems. I hope Spike can provide a long term fix! Keep us all posted as to how you are feeling.

  4. As on outsider I can't know the inner politics and how he would would react, but, would it be possible to go into Iceman's office and tell him that you were in a car accident last week and that you have been suffering back pain since then, are on pain killers that make you drowsy, and you trust you will be better very soon?
    Would it evoke some understanding on his part?

  5. Actually, bella, he already knows. I told him about it in supervision. I feel like he's using it against me.

  6. Im sorry he ripped u off for a dime he cured howard sterns back a few years ago feel better