Monday, November 10, 2008

This is how tired I am

I am taking big doses of muscle relaxants and painkillers, and sometimes I need a few tranquilizers to stay calm when dealing with dating, money, and the rest of the big, steaming pile of crap that is my life. So this morning I woke up exhausted, watched 15 minutes of light lamp (scarcely able to keep my eyes open) and dragged myself into the bathroom. I took off the underpants I slept in, and instead of putting them in the hamper with the dirty clothes, I slung them into the toilet.

That is how tired I am.

I'm also mighty constipated, thanks to all the medications. I've been taking handfuls of aloe capsules, but they weren't doing much. So I took a more powerful laxative late yesterday afternoon. And waited. I thought it would hit me sometime in the morning; it's supposed to take about 12 hours.

No. It took almost 24 hours. But today, during session, I suddenly needed to go. Badly. To the client's surprise (and, though I hate to admit it, probably his pleasure) I ended the session early, grabbed the key to the 8th floor bathroom (we can't use the ones on our floor because they've been renovating them for MONTHS, one tile at a time), and danced from foot to foot waiting for the elevator.

I made it. Barely. I've long suspected that my life was just a sitcom for Gd, to prove He has a sense of humor. Now I know it's true.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Well, you did say your ass was angry...

    Feel better :-)

  2. I've poured orange juice in my cereal but never my underwear into the toilet! Glad you are showing a sense of humor. Hope your tummy is better soon.

  3. Clearly you've never been as tired as I am.

  4. I was once so tired, I made a Mezonot on my Tzitzit. Didn't eat them, though.

  5. I've poured orange juice in my cereal

    Riva, I've done that on purpose. Cheerios in orange juice tastes pretty good.