Monday, November 10, 2008

This is how tired I am

I am taking big doses of muscle relaxants and painkillers, and sometimes I need a few tranquilizers to stay calm when dealing with dating, money, and the rest of the big, steaming pile of crap that is my life. So this morning I woke up exhausted, watched 15 minutes of light lamp (scarcely able to keep my eyes open) and dragged myself into the bathroom. I took off the underpants I slept in, and instead of putting them in the hamper with the dirty clothes, I slung them into the toilet.

That is how tired I am.

I'm also mighty constipated, thanks to all the medications. I've been taking handfuls of aloe capsules, but they weren't doing much. So I took a more powerful laxative late yesterday afternoon. And waited. I thought it would hit me sometime in the morning; it's supposed to take about 12 hours.

No. It took almost 24 hours. But today, during session, I suddenly needed to go. Badly. To the client's surprise (and, though I hate to admit it, probably his pleasure) I ended the session early, grabbed the key to the 8th floor bathroom (we can't use the ones on our floor because they've been renovating them for MONTHS, one tile at a time), and danced from foot to foot waiting for the elevator.

I made it. Barely. I've long suspected that my life was just a sitcom for Gd, to prove He has a sense of humor. Now I know it's true.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

5 comments:

  1. Well, you did say your ass was angry...

    Feel better :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've poured orange juice in my cereal but never my underwear into the toilet! Glad you are showing a sense of humor. Hope your tummy is better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Clearly you've never been as tired as I am.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was once so tired, I made a Mezonot on my Tzitzit. Didn't eat them, though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've poured orange juice in my cereal

    Riva, I've done that on purpose. Cheerios in orange juice tastes pretty good.

    ReplyDelete