Wednesday, December 31, 2008

SJ: off the list

He seemed a little off in his initial message to me -- a little too explicit and deliberate, somehow -- and also seemed odd when he called me tonight.

"I called to see if you'd like to go on a date with me," he explained brightly. Doesn't that kinda go without saying? The more we spoke, the stranger he seemed. Then we tried to make plans to get together.

"I live and work in the city," I said. "How about you?"

"I live in (outer borough)," he said. Didn't volunteer a work location. On his profile (which lacks a photo, incidentally) he said he was a stockbroker, so I thought he worked on Wall Street.

"Where do you work?" I asked.

"Well, actually, I'm in a day treatment program," he said. "I have a mental illness. But really, I'm just like a normal person."

Not "just like," unfortunately. I'm the last person to judge anyone for having a mental illness, but I also think I function pretty seamlessly in the real world. And right now, he doesn't.

"I work in the field," I said, neglecting to mention I also live in the field. "If you're in a day treatment program, maybe now's not the best time for you to be dating. Maybe you need to develop a little more... stability."

He wasn't pleased, but he graciously wished me a happy new year and hung up. Phew.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Excellent choice! Someone currently in a day program needs to get on the right track and stable before they move on to dating. Maybe I just repeated what you said in the post but an excellent choice on your part.

  2. Thanks, YL. I'm all for people with mental illnesses dating -- but only when they're stablized. I also am trying not to marry someone with a similar disorder to mine because of the genetic burden that might put on the kids, if I have any.

  3. Wow. Very scary that anyone can open a Frumster account. Caveat Dator.