Monday, December 01, 2008

They didn't deserve it, either

I complain a lot that I don't deserve my life, that more objectively bad things happen to me than to other people. Then again, Gabriel and Rivka Holtzberg didn't deserve to be murdered by terrorists before either of them saw 30. Or to have their first two children born with Tay-Sachs disease and watch one die.

I don't know how much time the Holtzbergs spent complaining. I doubt it was much, because running a Chabad house is kind of like running a 7-11; it's a 24-hour/365-day commitment. I doubt they would have had the time, or made the time, to feel sorry for themselves. One friend in particular has been telling me I have a peculiar sense that there ought to be some kind of justice in the universe, which apparently not everyone who suffers misfortune assumes. I was pissed off when he first said it, but now I'm wondering if he's right.

Maybe I just need to be busier. Although right now I'm feeling exhausted overwhelmed between filing the MVAIC paperwork, taking care of my Beth Din lawsuit, and recovering from my injuries (and now a cold, thanks to my germy nieces and nephew). I can't even take out the recyclables; they are piled almost to the ceiling. Literally. It's a low NYC ceiling, but still.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. I agree wholeheartedly with what you just wrote!

    I think I have made a similar comment to you re how you can't expect the world to be just. It doesn't do you any good to be angry at G-d, fate or whatever.

    It's always helpful to remember that there are folks worse off than you. My father always says look down, not up. But I know that's a piece of advice that is often hard to practice day to day.

  2. Life would be so easy if we had a clear cut reward system. "press the red button, get chocolate, press the green button get an electric shock." If it were that clear and simple and good things went to people who did good and if you do bad you get bad, who wouldn't do good all the time and avoid the electric shock? But I think if that were the case we would all be robot-like, always pressing the "do good" buttons as a no-brainer, until it becomes rote. I am guessing (I have no knowledge of course) that Hashem wants us to use our power of choice to do his way, and not just by rote to get the reward like well trained dogs.