Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Did I overreact?

A childhood friend of mine, Margalit, told me her friend Liora was organizing a singles shabbaton in my area and suggested I get in touch. So I friended Liora on Facebook, and she wrote me:

Thanks for writing. Our next event is a Shabbaton Feb 27-28 for ages 30-55. If you are interested in attending, please email or call 800-liora-333. We have very good turnouts and successful events!

BTW, are you from (hometown)? You said Margalit gave you my name and I see my cousin Chananya on your friend list. Please be in touch!

Ages 30-55? I have a bad feeling about this. I wrote back:

I am indeed from (hometown) -- born and raised. I've known Margalit since junior high. I was friendly with Chananya's brother Sender but knew Chananya slightly.

Can I ask why the age range on the Shabbaton is so broad? I'm not really interested in meeting anyone over 35. However, my experience in the past has been that the older men (several of whom are usually over the age limit) outnumber the men in my age range.

Oops -- now I see the typo. I wrote "35" instead of "45," which is my upper age limit. (35? How Freudian.) This would explain her answer:

If you are not open to meeting men above 35 then this Shabbaton is not for you. I, personally, do not use age as a deciding factor for who may be the right man. The best part of our events is that people of various ages have the opportunity to get to know each other.

We had a shidduch from our first Shabbaton; the husband and wife agree that had anyone suggested them to each other, they would not have gone out. "On paper" they were not what each was looking for; when they met, however, it was the right thing.

We will have people in the 30s, 40s and early 50s. So far we have no men 35 and under, but have some in the upper 30s. Where do you live? Saturday night our event is open to all singles. If you are interested, let me know.

Now I'm embarrassed at my response:

I'm open to meeting men over 35. I'm not open to being pushed to go out with men 20 years older than I am.

Crap. I just now sent her this:

I just realized that my response to you had a typo -- I'm not open to meeting men over 45. Sorry about that.

Yeah -- I don't think I'm going to this Shabbaton.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Hi-

    Don't let a typo and some internet awkwardness keep you away. Hate to remind you, but you are a lot closer to 40 than 30, and that means most of the 30-55 are within your age range.

    FYI, "Liora" also married young, and I believe her marriage ended for reasons similar to mine, but after 4 kids and 10+ years. I bet she does a good job of pulling together people from a lot of backgrounds. Give it a try, even if it is just to make more friends.


  2. Typos happen!
    Don't let your embarrassment keep you from going. The age range is disconcerting though.

  3. I'd go. It's local for you, and you never know. I don't think you overreacted, per se. Liora will be happy to take your money, and you just might meet someone!

  4. You are funny!! If men only knew how we dissect them..they would run a mile...