Saturday, March 14, 2009

Frum, has a brain, seems nice, not morbidly obese

The cookies with frosting are starting to show up around my face and chin, but I had a lunch invitation from Ozer. I needed to get out of the house, and I was determined to act hot. Apparently confidence in yourself will take you pretty far, and a red dress with matching red fishnet stockings will bring you the rest of the way.

"You look hot, Ayelet!" said Aunt Raizy when I walked into Ozer's apartment. She's not my aunt -- she's Baruch and Elimelech's aunt, Shuli's sister. In town on business; her husband was holding down the fort at home, and she was staying with Shuli & Co.

"Thanks, Raiz," I said, smiling at Baruch, who apparently like all other males finds women in red alluring and was grinning at me. Or maybe I reminded him of Elmo, which apparently is one of his words, along with "Ma-ma," "up," "Leh-li" (for Elimelech) and "Da-da." I keep repeating "A - ye - let," but it hasn't taken yet.

Elimelech was playing an elaborate game with Ozer's roommate Jefferson (weird name for a Jew, don't you think?), who's a child psychologist. In fact, there was another family with young children at the meal; Jefferson was totally in his element, and I thanked my lucky stars that I work with adult substance abusers.

It was a nice meal. I got to hold Baruch for most of it, feeding him little bits of food and keeping my jewelry out of his reach. He's beyond the stage of putting everything in his mouth, so he's allowed to pull my hair. Elimelech sat next to me, mainly focused on his mom (he's so Oedipal these days, even Freud would say, "What the --?") but occasionally talking to me.

Also there was a guy named Yves. French Moroccan. Involved in some kind of VoIP business (I know what that stands for but not how it works) that has taken him to the Congo and other exotic locales. I thought he smiled at me when he came in, but he wasn't overly receptive, although he responded politely to my questions about Jewish life in France and laughed at one of my jokes.

Yves said that Ozer's home-made crusty bread was unlike anything he'd seen in America. "It's like it's French, or Sephardic -- I can't tell which," he said in his dreamy accent.

"Which is better?" I said innocently. People laughed. But then Yves spent most of the meal talking to Ozer and a few other guys. We weren't even formally introduced.

Of course, I was a few people down and across the table from Yves, and I was pretty focused on interacting with the baby. It's been a few weeks since I've seen Baruch, and I want to be sure we don't go through a period of alienation the way I did with Elimelech, who had really bad stranger anxiety and wouldn't let me touch him for a few years. Baruch reached for Shuli when I was first holding him, which broke my heart into a million little pieces. Fortunately, I later put him next to the sofa and stepped back, expecting him to furniture-walk along it, and instead he sat down and crawled to me. I love that baby. Have I mentioned that?

So I walked home with Shuli & Co., and happened to mention that Yves seemed nice.

"The guy with the big velvet yarmulke?" said Shuli. "I didn't think he was your type."

"Of course he's my type," I said. "He's frum, has a brain, seems nice, and isn't morbidly obese. You know what? That's my type!"

"Don't sell yourself short, Ayelet," said Shuli.

"I'm not," I said. "I just don't understand how people can reject other people just because of 'NML'."

"NML?" asked Raizy.

"Not My Look," I said. "Men invoke it more than women do, but women do too. Sure, I have a type. You know who's really my type? Jefferson. Short and compact, not scrawny. But he's had plenty of opportunities to ask me out -- I've needled him twice -- but he hasn't, so I can't pine for him. At this point, I'm trying to be as flexible as I can while my eggs are still potentially viable."

I guess I'll email Ozer and ask if Yves is dating anybody. Ozer says he wants to write a dating advice book -- he's a big fan of "How to Talk to Girls." But I think he should take a more active role and set people up. He's a natural busybody, and he loves gossip. He always says he just wants people to meet spontaneously at his meals and events, but maybe I'll plant the seed that sometimes people need a little push more than a little advice.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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