Sunday, March 08, 2009

Left out, let down

I made no plans for this weekend -- no Shabbos meals, no parties -- and nobody called me for anything. Actually, Minka called me about a party yesterday, but I didn't want to go. So why was I so offended when Zoya, Chaya, and others went to that same party without calling me?

I have no basis to be angry, but I am. And miserable. I spent the whole weekend alone, which was a mistake. And I don't feel like doing anything for Purim. I'm just completely miserable. I made the stupid mistake of leaving a pissy phone message for Chaya (I've already unFriended snotty too-good-for-AFG Zoya), so she called me back, yelled at me for being impossible, and told me I wasn't her friend anymore.

Last Wednesday I probably stayed up too late doing acupuncture, and drew off too much negative energy. Ever since I've been all out of balance. Could also be the onset of my menses. Or frustration with the blatant favoritism at work. In all, bad week, awful weekend eating too many cookies with sugary frosting.

It's not normal for all that to make me feel a little bit like cutting my throat. I know that.

Jockitch, who had his kids this weekend, said he would call and hasn't. Problem solved -- I don't have to worry about what to do with him, because I've handily driven him away. I can't believe I actually cleaned the blinds because he thought they were dirty.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Yeah, I know that isolated feeling. It would be nice to have people calling and saying "Come, we'd love to hang out with you!" That's when I turn on my 90's punk music and remind myself how much I've grown since middle school.

  2. Smart. I should buy some Cure CDs.

  3. Oh Ayelet,

    Sorry you are in such a Funk! I think you showed strength of character by cutting things off with Jockitch. You know what you want out of life and that is half the battle toward getting it.

    Enough of the platitudes. You do need to force yourself out, if not to parties then at least to megillah reading or something! Let me know if you want to join me.