Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Resistance is futile

I'm dating jockitch. I can't deny it, and I can't call it anything else.

Is this a good idea? Honestly, I don't know. I feel a lot less lonely. I feel like he understands and appreciates and accepts me. That is so rare in a man who isn't 1) already married to another woman or 2) not Jewish.

It's weird that he reads my blog. (Which also means I have to think really hard before I post anything, part of the reason for the recent several-days' silence.) It is weirder that his ex-wife reads my blog and is rooting for us.

It's disheartening, albeit understandable, that he has four children and doesn't really want any more. (Who could blame him? He has at least one of each; he's fulfilled his halachic mandate.) I'm not ready to give up the dream of having a baby.

It's upsetting that he doesn't want to be shomer mitzvot. It's disturbing that he doesn't know where he wants to live or what he wants to do when he grows up, even though he has a very nice house in one of the more outer boroughs and holds down a responsible job in his family business. And he has other issues going on that I won't describe but that make now a really bad time for him to be in a tachlis relationship.

He's just very up in the air. Ironic, since he loves skydiving.

I'm giving it until Pesach. That's when my friend Dov will make the triple pilgrimage to the kever on my behalf. After that, I'll re-assess. I'm also taking a Frumster break. It's gotten me absolutely nowhere in more than three years. I'm not throwing more good money after bad.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

4 comments:

  1. I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually think you should give this a shot. I'm not sure why--just a gut feeling. Besides the kids and religion issues--both certainly biggies--how does he treat you? You haven't said.

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  2. He treats me extremely well. He's kind, he's generous, he tries to help me when he can. He respects me and he genuinely likes me. Warts and mishugoss and all.

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  3. So I say, go for it!
    But if you are dating this guy, please change his alias on this blog--yuck!

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  4. He LIKES his alias. Although he doesn't understand why I don't just name names.

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