Sunday, May 10, 2009


I broke up with Sam because he wasn't orthodox, even though he was a great guy. Found him and friended him recently on Facebook. This is what he writes me:

Hope all is going well with you. Looks like you've made some career changes since we've spoken last. Things with me are well. Married for six years now. Met my wife in residency (she is a physical therapist) and have a five year old daughter. Never would have believed it, but married an orthodox woman. Now I have a kosher home and a shomer shabbos family (except me -- what goes on in the basement, stays in the basement)!

Been working in the same pediatric practice for little over five years now. Should be making partner later this year if I choose to stay there. Also more than halfway done with a Masters in Business Administration. Besides that, play a lot of music, hang with many of the usual suspects, and enjoying life in general.

In any event, wish that both you and your family are happy and healthy.

Shoot me. Just -- shoot me.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Never look back.

    Maybe there was something else that gave you pause about him?
    Maybe the 'what stays in the basement' attitude would have made you unhappy. No way to know, so don't second guess your instincts.

  2. Going with a married guy? Why? In the hopes that he will break up with his wife and go with you? Forget it! No way! Besides if he is a chippy with his wife now he will be with you too.

    This is a guy you were going with? I am confused. No way! Don't even give it second thoughts. There is a woman who runs a farm and school in Israel and writes a weekly parsha drosh that I would like to see you read. MederotBayAyin I believe is the name of it. Sign up. If that is wrong let me know.

    Also today the guy that I had been dating told me that he in no way was ever going to get married. Sex yes, living together yes, but marriage no. I should tell everyone that he had his head up his you know what and let everyone know we would never be married. Friends with benefits type of thing is what he was looking for. So what is the benefit. To him we can still remain friends. Why? I have lived in this town for 30 plus years and have plenty of friends that don't ask me to compromise my morals. Ayelet, set your goals higher. I have, I want you to do the same. Don't set yourself up for less than you are worth. You will only be frustrated.

    HaShem wants greater for you and so do I.

  3. Agree with Riva.

    Something else made you say "not this one."

    And that "stays in the basement" thing is so not cool.

  4. Rivka, Sam wasn't married when I dated him. But you're right -- best not to look back. I'm sorry the guy you were dating turned out to be such a disappointment.

  5. I don't disagree with the previous comments. However, I'd like to add something. A woman has a tremendous amount of influence on her husband's relationship with God and Judaism. A not yet orthodox man might be inspired by something you say or do. Ideally, we don't look for a "work in progress" when dating, but if you meet someone you like and respect who is open minded, even if not yet observant, you might give him a shot.