Friday, May 08, 2009

It takes a village to make a shidduch

More and more people from my "Ayelet" Facebook acquaintance are volunteering to help me find my bashert. I just got this note from a person I've never met in real life, although he's commented on a few status updates and blog posts:

Dear Ayelet, If you want me to keep my antenna up for a potential zivug for you, can you fill me in on what you’re looking for, age range, level of observance, personality type, and whatever you think is important?

Your beshert could be anywhere at anytime.

My brother met his beshert unexpectedly at a Federation fundraiser in Manhattan. I met my beshert unexpectedly in Louisville, Kentucky.

Good Shabbos, Rabbi Zohar

P.S. I love the nicknames you give people on your blogs. They are hilarious.

Who knew there were Jews in Louisville? I'm incredibly moved by his offer, because he's saying it's okay for a woman with bipolar disorder to get married. Maybe most of you think this is self-evident, but there's so much stigma attached to a psychiatric diagnosis, I'm overwhelmed when people completely disregard it.

Dear Rabbi Z, Thank you for thinking of me. Here is more info about me and about the kind of guy I'm looking for. If you have any prospects I can also send you some photos, although I'm not very photogenic.

From: New York City, New York, United States
Family Status: single (never married), without children
Religious Practice: Modern Orthodox (liberal)

Consider relocation? Maybe
Wishing to make aliyah to Israel? No
Jewish Education: lectures
Secular Education: Masters
Political Beliefs: middle of the road
Occupation: clinical social worker
Hobbies and Interests: museums, movies/theater, exploring NYC's parks and neighborhoods, traveling

Height: 155 cm/5' 1"
Build: average
Do you smoke?: no

This is how I describe myself: Smart, funny, fun, interesting. A bottomless well of trivia and passion. Not easily daunted or discouraged. Good listener, since that's what I do for a living. I like going out; I like staying in. I love being an aunt, and I'm exceptionally good at it.

This is what I am looking for in a mate: Good derech eretz. Intelligent and hardworking. Doesn't take himself too seriously. Ready to take dating VERY seriously. Preferably 5'7" or shorter. I do date tall men, but I *really* like short men. I don't date men more than 10 years my senior, and vastly prefer men within a few years of my age.

My bashert hopefully is SOMEWHERE... I just need him right here. Thanks for volunteering to help find him. Shabbat shalom, Ayelet

I hope that's enough information for Rabbi Zohar. And if, after reading this, any other readers think of someone appropriate for me... feel free to email me as well!
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Hey, loved your response to his offer! I'm also a "capital A Aunt" :)

    I have to say though, I HATE H. Clinton, so even though that quote might have been great from anyone else, I cringe every time people use it. :)


  2. Well in some circles a guy/girl has a hard time getting married for all kinds of stigmas: they stack the dishes before they clear, they are Sefardic, they are Ashkenazi, they are from Lithuania, they are not from Hungaria, they are 3 pounds overweight, they went to college, they are baal teshuva, they are a convert, they are....

    Call me crazy, but I believe if the Torah says its permissible for a person to get married, they have the right to get married.

    Rabbi Avigdor Miller, z'l once said, "Don't be surprised if one day you think your spouse is a little bit meshuggah. Everyone is a little bit meshuggah."

    I don't care what anyone's diagnosis is, as long as they let the person whom they are getting serious with know.