Friday, May 15, 2009

Who's right -- Mendel or The Rules?

So I told my friend Mendel that 203 men ignored me on Frumster and others rejected me, and I didn't think I should contact any of them.

(In case you're wondering why I don't just date or marry Mendel -- he's one of those married guys who find me so utterly beguiling. And he's not Sephardic, so marriage is kind of out of the question.)

Mendel responded:

No harm in contacting those that rejected you, maybe they changed their mind!

I don't know. Should I pursue a second helping of rejection from these guys? According to The Rules, I shouldn't have bothered them to start with. What do you think?
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Fuck the Rules. Fuck them hard.

    That said, it's going to be a humiliating and discouraging endeavour to try to contact people who never returned your first contact. But, who knows, one of them may actually be a decent human being who did not answer because, A, somehow the message slipped under the radar, B, he was seeing someone at the time and wasn't checking his messages, or C... some other unknown yet valid reason.

    My dear, my sympathies. You're far from the only one.


  2. Well look at it this way. Its a free country. Could someone change their mind? Of course, but its unlikely unless you've changed that they are going to see things differently. So you have nothing to lose, but its not necessarily the best use of your time. Also you have to be willing to take rejection all over again. Are you a glutton for punishment? It makes a little bit of sense to look at guys you've ignored or rejected.

    All that being said, if I were on frumster I'd love it if a gal sent me a note saying, "I know you did not have an interest in me six months ago, but I just wanted to send a note to say your profile looks like you are one hell of a catch. Even if you're still not interested its nice to know someone out there thinks you're awesome."

  3. You make your own closure.

    Don't bother.

  4. There is an old country saying: Don't throw your pearls after swine.

    In other words, forget it and move on.

    Concentrate on what is good in your life.

    Remember the poem entitled Five Chapters?

    Think about it.

  5. Thank you all for commenting -- I appreciate the input. I thought it would weigh more heavily on one side or the other, but it seems pretty evenly balanced. I guess I'll see how I feel after I rejoin Frumster.

    Anon., I'm not familiar with Five Chapters.

  6. I'm debating and dreading re-joining Frumster. In any case it's not an option at the moment as I am cash-free.

    In order to be a woman on Frumster, you have to kill all your self-respect, pride, and modesty. I don't mean modesty in a dress sense. But these guys do not approach you. If they do it's just to say "can I see a picture?" and then ignore you once again once they've determined you aren't a supermodel... and I am far from ugly. If you approach them, they either ignore you, get vague, or get crude. I have yet to have a good Frumster experience.


    The only way to move forward in a situation like this is to forget the past. If we went by our experiences instead of stubborn hope, my dear, we'd be nuns. And I am NOT cut out for that life.

    So, in the face of logic, in the face of experience on both our parts, I encourage you. Good luck.

    Morituri te salutant.


  7. Honey, move ON. Don't dwell on the guys that weren't interested. In wat way is that healthy?