Sunday, June 28, 2009

The 18-minute date

I met HealthNut on Frumster. He's a few years older than I am, and I didn't love his profile, but I thought I should get to know him:

Intelligent, analytical, friendly, humorous. Into health healing and nutrition. Nurturing personality good with children and problem solving. There go those analytical skills again. Like to joke but can be serious. HAVE LOTS OF ENERGY need a much younger woman to keep up with me.

I'm into Law, Medicine, Science, The Green Movement (environment) Motorcycles, Thinking and inventing things. Have a mind that never stops. I exercise and take good care of my body by eating healthy food. The last person told me I looked like I am in my 30's. Another friend said I have the body of someone in their 20's.

Notably, no photo is posted on HealthNut's profile. And given that he says he's looking for a "much younger" woman, I'm surprised he responded. We emailed on Frumster and then talked on the phone a few weeks ago.

HealthNut did most of the talking -- about the inversion table he just bought because he's losing height, the danger of mercury in dental fillings, homeopathic remedies vs. pharmaceuticals, and the health benefits of hydrogen peroxide. I'm really trying not to judge men harshly or reject them without good reason. I think I may have gone too far in the other direction.

We tentatively tried to make plans for this past Wednesday evening. I didn't a definite yes from HealthNut until Wednesday morning, by which time I had other plans. So I emailed back to say I was free Sunday afternoon. He responded:

That sounds ok. Let's talk Sunday to confirm.

Today I got some chemicals in my eye. Tonight I noticed lymph nodes swollen in my neck. I'm going to take some herbs that are blood purifiers before I go to sleep.

This past Sunday I ordered 60 books. A friend called me "insane" because of the number of books that I bought. I bought enough for about a year.

I went on a scale today. Haven't been on one for about a year! I was disappointed with the number that I saw. But have to remember that muscle weighs more, so it is something I should accept. Or I can (should) stop eating a large meal right before I go to sleep.

By that time I'd committed to going out with him. And I really didn't want to.

We finally met earlier today at Starbucks. To start: he does not look like he's in his 30s. Or 20s. He doesn't even look like he's in his early 40s. He looks like he's in his mid- to late 40s.

At the counter I picked up a bottle of fruit juice. HealthNut stepped back.

"Aren't you going to have anything?" I asked.

"No," he said, patting his backpack. "I brought a bottle of water."

I don't care if you shlepped 1.5 hours on the subway to meet me -- if you can't buy me a bottle of juice, there is no hope for anything to come of this date! Cheap and crazy? I'm definitely not that desperate.

We sat down while I drank my juice and HealthNut showed me two of his books -- the danger of mercury dental fillings and the health benefits of hydrogen peroxide, as it turns out -- and told me, in more detail than I would have liked, about his last dental experience, during which he used homeopathic remedies to cope with postoperative pain.

"Tell me about yourself," he said abruptly, switching topics.

"I think I'm... probably not the person you're looking for," I said.

He didn't flinch. "Okay," he said. Maybe he thought I was too old or fat, and that's why he wouldn't spring for the juice. Whatever. It took about 18 minutes, start to finish, and felt more like an hour.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Ugh! Sorry about this experience but glad you did not invest a lot of time in this oddball. Another story you can dine out on...although I know you already have enough of those.

  2. Forget Health Nut-- he's just a plain ol' regular nut. Even I could see that from his profile. Reads like someone familiar with mania. Personally, I'm very wary of people who are so utterly 'convinced' of anything. I know we want to be open minded, but there's usually a reason people like this aren't married. Can you imagine going shopping for a household with this man?

  3. You gave him a very good and polite response. Don't concern yourself about what he thought of you.

  4. Oh my God, what a whacko. Don't waste a second worrying what his opinion was. He would have liked you better if you were a boil on his lymph nodes... a standard few of us can hope to reach! :D


  5. Ayelet,
    This guy's profile cried schizoid with OCD! I am trying to imagine what you found interesting in the profile at all. Feel free to have me psychologically profile the profile before you take the next step next time. . .(I know you are not a big fan of psychologists, but if you can make an exception for me, I'd be happy to give my two cents)

  6. tikunolam, you are clearly one of the "good" psychologists ;)

    and you have a deal -- next time I consider a guy, I'll email you his online profile first :D

  7. I don't know if you had any prior feelings re: homeopathy, but if turned you off to natural medicine at all, please know that not everyone who likes it is like that.

  8. s.b., I actually use homeopathic remedies for knee and muscle pain. I don't like it any less because of HealthNut ;)