Friday, June 05, 2009

Happy birthday, Ayelet

No use mourning what I can't change. I want to thank everyone who commented on here and Facebook for their loving support. I have to admit that after taking a walk on my lunch hour and focusing on my work, I did feel better. But I need to stop moping and crying on the subway ride home. Makes me wake up at 4 a.m. with a headache.

Even anger management group went really well, although that's partly because I have a great bunch of guys right now. Psychotherapy with the psychopath was a fascinating challenge as always. I have to say, it gives me a kick when I outwit him, render him speechless, and don't let him get the better of me. Keeps me on my A game.

I got some unexpected birthday greetings. First from SawyouatSinai, of which I am emphatically not a fan:


We hope you have a very special day, and wanted to send you this card to thank you for your support.

Have a wonderful simcha filled year!

As a special gift,when you sign up with any Gold membership plan, we are giving you a limited time extra free month. Please enter 'bonusmonth' in the marketing code field on the payment page to receive this birthday offer.

The SYAS Team

Before SYAS became a paying site, I was rejected by one of the matchmakers. She had set me up with a kind of shlubby guy -- I wasn't enthusiastic about him, but I was willing to meet him. He said he was willing to meet me, but never contacted me. She asked me a few times about the "progress" of the match, and I kept telling her he hadn't contacted me yet. Then I logged into the site and discovered she'd deleted me from her list of clients -- without telling me.

I was ready to be rejected by men on a dating site -- but by the matchmakers? So I wrote to the management:

More than a month ago, one of my matchmakers proposed a match for me. I accepted, he accepted, he was given my phone number, and then nothing happened. The matchmaker e-mailed me a few times asking for an update, and I told her each time that I hadn't heard anything. Then I visited the site yesterday and saw she was no longer listed as one of my matchmakers. She dropped me without a word of explanation.

It's bad enough that a SYAS guy blew me off, but I expected more from the matchmakers.

Their reply:

Sometimes when a matchmaker realizes he or she does not have members with whom to match you up, he or she may decline you. To prevent this from happening, we suggest forming a relationship with your matchmakers so they can get to know you and be able to suggest more
and better-suited matches for you.

Best, SawYouAtSinai Support

What the --? The matchmaker didn't say she didn't have anyone for me -- she had at least one. Also, she requested we communicate via e-mail, not phone, so I don't know what more I could have done to form a relationship with her.

When SYAS started charging for membership I refused to fork over. I still have a profile up, and I have to say I've never been set up with anyone remotely attractive. Ironically, that same matchmaker proposed that same shlub for me about four years later. I reminded her of what happened.

It's not just me. Other female friends of mine have SYAS horror stories -- only set up with men who are ten or more years older than they are; going six months without a single match suggested, and not being given a refund or extension. I don't think I'll take them up on their birthday offer. Although Ziva Kramer is a SYAS matchmaker, even though she also works independently. I guess I should ask her if it's worth me joining.

Also heard from Westernwallprayers (in my case, "unanswered prayers"):

Dear Ayelet,

We wanted to wish you a very happy birthday from the Old City of Jerusalem.

Know that we are thinking of you on this special day.

Birthdays are very good time markers in our lives because they give us the opportunity and incentive to reflect on where we are now, compare it to where we were last year, and then contemplate where we would like to be next year.

May you use the great strength and connection of this day to propel you forward and upward to becoming the most beautiful person that you were created to be.

And as a birthday present, we are giving you any of our prayer options for 15% less than the normally requested donation (this gift voucher is valid for 7 days).

Wishing you much blessing, The WWP Team

I'll think about it.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. 15% off a prayer!? Are we offering dispensations at half-price, too?

    Ayelet, I love you to a million pieces, and I think it's time to get off this "10 rabbis praying for 40 days in a concentric circle at the northwest corner of the kotel" wagon and go right to the source. There's only one G0d. You don't have to do tehillim, or go to Shul, or wave a chicken over your head. Talk to Him however you like, or not. He's still there.

    Just my 2 cents.

    And happy bday. MWAH!

  2. Dear Ayelet,

    Happy Birthday! May your next year be filled with insights, accomplishments, and blessings in all areas.

    These birthday blessings are free. And if you join right now we will send you extra special birthday wishes next year at a 10% discount. Act now!

  3. Happy belated birthday, Ayelet :-)
    I hope you had a wonderful day!