Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm guessing I shouldn't hold my breath

What I really need to do, now that I've turned 39, is give up on dating men in their 30s. I should no longer try to date anyone my age or younger, because they're just going to see me as a woman with compromised fertility.

I'm learning this slowly. Sometimes you have to read between the lines. But I never should have contacted the Frum Playa (FP) on Frumster.

FP describes himself thusly:

Here's where I'm supposed to tell you all about myself. Well, what do you want to know? I'm originally from Israel, although I've lived most of my life in NY. I would describe myself as adventurous, spontaneous, and passionate about my life, my ideals, and the people I love. I cherish my role as the bachelor uncle and dutifully try to spoil my nieces and nephews.

I believe that not only is there no contradiction between being frum and worldly, but that being frum is to be worldly- to understand and practice a life of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment as shown through torah and mitzvot. These are the ideals around which I would like build my bait neeman. And by the way, my mother thinks that I am the cutest thing.

We have a few things in common. We both love our nieces and nephews and take pride in being part of their lives. Our mothers believe we're adorable. We're passionate and worldly.

What kind of girl is FP looking for?

My true love, and I believe she's playing hide and seek with me, is down to earth with a heart of gold eager to be a true queen and not flamboyant.

Hmm. I'm kind of flamboyant. But what the heck, let's contact him.

Subject: my mother thinks I'm pretty cute too

Message: I don't play hide and seek, because I'm not into games. You sound like a very interesting person and a pretty good uncle. I like your definition of "frum and worldly." And I'd love to get to know you better.

FP's two years younger than I am, but there's no harm in that. Right?

thanks for replying to my profile, your profile is very interesting

Okay. That sounds kind of promising.

Thanks! How do you like to spoil your nieces and nephews? Right now 5 of my toenails are purple and 5 are metallic teal because my nieces like to give me pedicures and I let them pick the colors ;)

What does FP think of that? Too flamboyant?

You are cute AND funny. Your nieces must love you

Fairly approving. But not enthusiastic. Let's play it a little cool.

They do ;) You seem pretty cute, too.

Come on -- say something more. Say you'd like to meet me!

just a question for you
How religious are you? Are you ok with holding hands and kissing?

Okay, that's... more. Maybe too much. Doesn't sound like he's serious about tachlis. But I'll find out.

I am not shomeret negiah, but I don't like to get physically involved until I've gotten to know someone very well. I'm not looking for a boyfriend to make out in the movies with -- I'm looking for a husband ;)

Also, my membership is going to expire any day now, so if you want to keep in touch, you can find me at You could send a picture, too, if you like ;)

Think he'll write?

I am not looking to make out in a movie theater. I just think its important to hold hands and show affection. I will look for you (Are you giving up on Frumster?)

Not too encouraging.

I'm very big on showing affection, as long as it's not an end in itself ;) I give up on Frumster periodically. I need to take breaks every once in a while. I'll look for your email to my yahoo address.

But I won't hold my breath.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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