Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Rocks in my bra

So I didn't agree with the life coach as far as Baltimore Guy was concerned, but I am trying something she recommended: healing crystals.

I've always believed that crystals can have therapeutic properties. If you look at a piece of rose quartz, for example, your brain is stimulated in a particular pattern. That could change how you think and feel.

Rose quartz is one of the crystals I'm supposed to hold to help me find my life partner. I also have a set of crystals "for overcoming trauma and bad memories." Of which I have plenty. According to the instructions:

Cleansing: Rinse for about two minutes under running tap water and wish for the strength that Gd implanted in these stones to help me and be useful to me; then expose to the light of day for three hours. To be repeated once a week.

Carry the stones in your pocket or handbag and feel them with your hand when they are loose for a total of two hours during the day or when you feel it is necessary.

Cleansing and sunning the stones was no problem. Holding them was. I can't hold them at work or my clients and co-workers will wonder. At home I'm usually using my hands for other things, like emailing or IMing.

So I put them in my bra. I figure, the reason you hold them is to absorb something from them through your skin. And if I wear them next to my skin all day, I'll absorb more. Unfortunately, one of the days I wore them, I was wearing an old and slightly loose bra, and I lost one of the "find a life partner" stones. I'm not sure what stone it was -- I recognized some of them, but not all -- so I can't replace it. I'm trying to call the crystal healer to ask her if I can just replace the stone here -- and if wearing the stones next to my skin is appropriate -- but she's in Israel and kind of hard to reach.

Those are the stones I hold. I also have a set of stones "To forgive yourself and liberate yourself of feelings of guilt." These stones I don't hold. I drink them. Well, first I cleanse and sun them the way I do the other stones. Then:

In the evening place the stones in a transparent glass with spring or mineral water and cover it for 24 hours and then immediately drink it; thereafter prepare for the following evening with the same procedure.

Which I am also doing. Finally, I have four "crystal healing essences"

made of Hoshen stones and their derivatives, mixed with the water from the Jordan River... The essences are remedies based on the frequencies of Hoshen stones. These essences function based on the principle of Homeopathic remedies and Bach Flower remedies.... We are aware of the huge impact of emotions, attitudes and thoughts, and their effects on the biochemistry of our physical body. Hoshen stone essences are used to help us heal ourselves in a wonderful and natural manner, and are based on the principle of energy frequency healing, that helps each one of us remove undesirable attributes, such as cowardice, indecision, lack of self confidence, and turn these into positive traits: courage, self love and love of others, power and strength.

The essences I have are: Vitality & organizational implementational skills; Spiritual Development & Blossoming; Happiness, Relief and Optimism; and Release of emotional blockages. I put drops of these essences under my tongue twice a day, and in the evening I put the drops in my glass of guilt-liberating stones and drink that water.

It's too soon to say whether they're working. I have done odder things in pursuit of health and happiness. I just can't remember what, right now.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. This crystal healing business and is complete and utter nonsense and the people who "practice" it are either frauds or engaged in amazing feats of self-deception.

  2. I don't want to be as adamant as anonymous, but I am skeptical.

    Also, we don't have 100% accurate translations for the Hebrew names of the stones in the Hoshen. So how do these people? It's generally accepted that Sapir is sapphire, Odem is ruby, and Yahalom is diamond, but beyond that, there are plenty of interpretations.

    That said, these homeopathic and energy healings do have a following, so I'm not going to discount them entirely.

    May these treatments serve their purpose.

  3. I'm with Carmen. While I am deeply skeptical of stuff like this, if you feel like you're getting something out of it, and you're not shelling out a fortune, then hopefully they'll help you.

  4. Part of this post is hilarious.

  5. I agree with anonymous, except I find all of the post hilarious.

    "Rocks in My Bra" would make a great title for a movie about a young "modern Orthodox" who is trying to heal crystals in NYC.

    The premise is that female breasts are so charming that even crystals succumb to their allure. The mother's milk of life as it were.

    Woody Allen would be very sympathetic to this idea and might even produce the film.

    He is Jewish, you know.

    Interesting occupation--healing crystals.

    Sorry if I seem flippant, but I have never read this young lady's posts before.

    Why, Aylet, is all of your work here copywrighted?

    Fascinating read.

  6. Thanks for reading and appreciating, JWL. The crystals are supposed to heal ME, not vice versa. I don't have such high expectations for my breasts -- and I am much too old for Woody Allen to find me interesting ;)

    Why is my work copyrighted? You answer your own question -- it's a fascinating read that I hope someday to publish as a book.

  7. Fret not Ayelet: To Woody Allen, anyone over 12 is too old, romantically.

    He still loves to make $$$$ by making films and your "Rocks in My Bra" would be a blockbuster.

    Those crystals surely appreciate the close proximity, whether or not healing ensues.

    When will your "Ayelet Survivor" be published? Your adoring public waits anxiously!


  8. From the Choshen Mishpat, the holy breastplate that the High Priest wore, we have a tradition that those stones each had a positive influence. True. Yet since there are a variety of opinions on the translation, as Carmen pointed out, you don't have a guarantee that you have the stone with the proper influence you want. None of the stones had an influence for finding a mate. But what's potentially worse is that if stones have influences, some of them might be bad for you. And unless you're King Solomon, (who knew all kinds of stuff like that) you might actually be bringing something into your life that is the opposite of what you want.

    Make sure that you have a sage that you can rely on to at least protect you from having a stone that works against you. If you compare Midrash Talpiot with Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan's translation of the Torah, you can see the influence and the opinions on the stones. At least if you follow one of the opinions, you won't be harming yourself. You might not be helping, but you won't be harming.

    Be cautious, though, not to put your trust in the rock, but in the Creator who made the rock.

  9. Is my comment under your copyright or is it mine?

  10. John, when I'm able to convince a publisher that I have an adoring public, I'll try to get a book contract ;) Feel free to share my copyrighted words with your friends and fans; I need more publicity. Invite them to my group.

    R' Zohar, you're right about the stones potentially having a bad influence. When I was using all of them at once, I started to feel very mopey, draggy, and depressed. Whether it's because people with bipolar are extra sensitive to every kind of influence (chemical or crystal), or because I was combining contrary crystals, or because you shouldn't keep crystals too close to your heart, I'm not sure. I stopped using them and feel better, which is discouraging. I was hoping they would help.

    Anonymous, it's impossible to copyright something authored by a person who doesn't append a name or pseudonym.

  11. The power of stones bring positive energy that can eliminate negative vibes. Its beauty brings peace in the relaxation of the body.
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